Learning from Past Disasters, Preventing Future Ones
by Daniel Ellsberg, July 04, 2008
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This is a forward to the book Flirting with Disaster: Why Accidents Are Rarely Accidental by Marc S. Gerstein.
I have participated in several major organizational catastrophes. The most well known of them is the Vietnam War. I was aware on my first visit to Vietnam in 1961 that the situation there – a failing neocolonial regime we had installed as a successor to French rule – was a sure loser in which we should not become further involved. Yet a few years later, I found myself participating as a high-level staffer in a policy process that lied both the public and Congress into a war that, unbeknownst to me at the time, experts inside the government accurately predicted would lead to catastrophe.
The very word catastrophe, almost unknown in the dry language of bureaucracy, was uttered directly to the president. Clark Clifford, longtime and highly trusted adviser to U.S. presidents, told President Lyndon Johnson in July 1965: “If we lose fifty thousand men there, it will be catastrophic in this country. Five years, billions of dollars, hundreds of thousands of men – this is not for us. . . .”
But it was for us, casualties included, after Johnson launched an open-ended escalation just three days later. In time, Clifford’s estimates were all exceeded: Before our ground war was ended in eight years (not five), the cost in dollars was in hundreds of billions, over five hundred thousand men served in Vietnam in a single year (1968) out of three million altogether, and – uncannily close to his predicted figure – more than fifty-eight thousand soldiers had died. Clifford’s prophecy in his face-to-face session with the president at Camp David – “I can’t see anything but catastrophe for our nation in this area” – could not have been more urgent in tone or, tragically, more prescient.
And Clifford’s was not a lone voice. Johnson’s vice president, Hubert H. Humphrey, had used almost the same words with him five months earlier; others, including Johnson’s career-long mentor Senator Richard Russell, had also made the same argument. Yet Johnson went ahead regardless.
Why? I have pondered and researched that question for forty years. (The documentation in the Pentagon Papers provides no adequate answer.) But one seemingly plausible and still widely believed answer can be ruled out. The escalation in Vietnam was not the result of a universal failure of foresight among the president’s advisers, or to a lack of authoritative, precise, and urgently expressed warnings against his choice of policy.
The nuclear arms race, in which I was intimately involved between 1958 and 1964 as a RAND Corporation analyst serving the executive branch, is a moral catastrophe on a scale without precedent in human history, even though its full tragic potential has not yet occurred. The arms race involved – under both Democratic and Republican administrations, soon joined by the USSR – the mutual construction of a physical and organizational capability for destruction of most of the world’s population within a matter of hours. That project – building two matched and opposed “doomsday machines” and keeping them on hair-trigger alert – is the most irresponsible policy in human experience, involving as it does a genuine possibility of creating an irreversible catastrophe for humanity and most other living species on a scale that the world has not seen since the dinosaurs perished sixty million years ago. Even if the system were decommissioned totally – and it is not yet remotely close to being dismantled – such a course of action would not cancel out the fact that over the past sixty years, a moral cataclysm has already occurred, with ominous implications for the future of life on earth.
I have been trying since 1967 – when I realized that the Vietnam War must end – to understand how we got into that war, and why it was so hard to end it. Since 1961, even earlier, I have viewed the nuclear arms race as an ongoing catastrophe that has to be reversed, and a situation that has to be understood. I assumed then, and still believe, that understanding the past and present of these realities is essential to changing them. In my life and work, I have tried to do what Dr. Gerstein’s book is trying to help us do: to understand these processes in a way that will help us avert them in the future.
A major theme to be gained from this important book is that organizations do not routinely and systematically learn from past errors and disasters – in fact, they rarely ever do. This intentional lack of oversight can partly explain why our predicament in Iraq is so precisely close to the Vietnam experience, both in the way that we got into the war, deceptively and unconstitutionally, and in the way the war is being conducted and prolonged.
It might not seem surprising that after thirty years, a generation of decision-makers and voters would have come along that knew little about the past experience in Vietnam. What is more dismaying is to realize that much the same processes – the same foolish and disastrous decision-making, the same misleading rationales for aggression – are going on right now with respect to Iran, with little political opposition, just three years after the invasion of Iraq, and while the brutal and tragic consequences of that occupation are still in front of our eyes every day.
One reason for this folly is that many aspects of disasters in decision-making are known only within the organization, and not even by many insiders at that. The organizations involved tend not to make relevant and detailed studies of past errors, let alone reveal them outside the organization. In fact, the risk that such a study or investigation might leak to the outside is a factor sufficient to keep inquiries from being made in the first place. Making or keeping possibly incriminating documentation earlier, at the time of the decision, or later is similarly sidestepped.
This deliberate decision within organizations not to try to learn internally what has gone wrong constitutes what I have called, with respect to Vietnam, an anti-learning mechanism. Avoiding improved performance is not the point of the mechanism. But because studying present and past faulty decision-making risks may invite blame and organizational, political, perhaps even legal penalties, those outcomes “outweigh” the benefits of clearly understanding what needs to be changed within the organization.
The valuable cases studies, analyses, and information in the pages of this book were not provided by the organizations involved. This compendium arose from the accounts of individual whistle-blowers, journalistic investigations, and in some cases congressional action – and from Dr. Gerstein’s own initiative in collecting and analyzing the data. Did any one of the organizations detailed herein conduct a comparable study? Quite possibly not a single one. And even if they did, they certainly didn’t publish the results in a way that would allow other organizations and individuals to learn from their mistakes.
Societally, then, we don’t have an easy way to learn from organizational mistakes of the past. That’s one reason that disasters are so likely, and why comparable disasters occur again and again, across organizations and even within the same organizations. In the case of Vietnam, Americans did not learn from the French or Japanese occupations before ours. Nor did Republicans under Nixon manage to learn from Democratic missteps before theirs. Specifically, there was no systematic study of the Pentagon Papers, which were available within the Defense Department to the Nixon administration, but no one ever admitted to having read them or even to directing their staff to analyze possible lessons from them. (I personally urged Henry Kissinger, in a discussion at the Western White House in 1970, to do both of these, or at least the latter, but he later claimed he had never read anything of them or about them, though he had a copy available to him.) As far as we know, Secretary of Defense Laird, Henry Kissinger, and others had no interest in the documentary record and analysis of twenty-three years of decision-making in the same geographic area, against precisely the same adversaries. And so they ended up committing many of the mistakes made by those who’d gone before, with the same results.
This “anti-learning” phenomenon also explains why it is possible to reproduce our experience in Vietnam years later in Iraq, and now, from Iraq to Iran. In sum, there is strong and successful resistance within many organizations to studying or recording past actions leading to catastrophe – because doing so would reveal errors, lies, or even crimes.
There is no substitute for the kind of comparative study analysis Dr. Gerstein shares on these pages. I hope this book is read widely; if we are to avoid the kinds of disasters and catastrophes described, we first need to understand them. Flirting with Disaster is a pathbreaking, indispensable step toward such a goal.
Daniel Ellsberg Berkeley, California July 2007
Saturday, 12 March 2011
This Shameful Abuse of Bradley Manning
This Shameful Abuse of Bradley Manning
by Daniel Ellsberg, March 12, 2011
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President Obama tells us that he’s asked the Pentagon whether the conditions of confinement of Bradley Manning, the soldier charged with leaking state secrets, "are appropriate and are meeting our basic standards. They assure me that they are."
If Obama believes that, he’ll believe anything. I would hope he would know better than to ask the perpetrators whether they’ve been behaving appropriately. I can just hear President Nixon saying to a press conference the same thing: "I was assured by the the White House Plumbers that their burglary of the office of Daniel Ellsberg’s doctor in Los Angeles was appropriate and met basic standards."
When that criminal behavior ordered from the Oval Office came out, Nixon faced impeachment and had to resign. Well, times have changed. But if President Obama really doesn’t yet know the actual conditions of Manning’s detention – if he really believes, as he’s said, that "some of this [nudity, isolation, harassment, sleep-deprivation] has to do with Private Manning’s wellbeing", despite the contrary judgments of the prison psychologist – then he’s being lied to, and he needs to get a grip on his administration.
If he does know, and agrees that it’s appropriate or even legal, that doesn’t speak well for his memory of the courses he taught on constitutional law.
The president refused to comment on PJ Crowley’s statement that the treatment of Manning is "ridiculous, counterproductive and stupid". Those words are true enough as far as they go – which is probably about as far as a state department spokesperson can allow himself to go in condemning actions of the defense department. But at least two other words are called for: abusive and illegal.
Crowley was responding to a question about the "torturing" of an American citizen, and, creditably, he didn’t rebut that description. Prolonged isolation, sleep deprivation, nudity – that’s right out of the manual of the CIA for "enhanced interrogation". We’ve seen it applied in Guantánamo and Abu Ghraib. It’s what the CIA calls "no-touch torture", and its purpose there, as in this case, is very clear: to demoralize someone to the point of offering a desired confession. That’s what they are after, I suspect, with Manning. They don’t care if the confession is true or false, so long as it implicates WikiLeaks in a way that will help them prosecute Julian Assange.
That’s just my guess, as to their motives. But it does not affect the illegality of the behavior If I’m right, it’s likely that such harsh treatment wasn’t ordered at the level of a warrant officer or the brig commander. The fact that they have continued to inflict such suffering on the prisoner despite weeks of complaint from his defense counsel, harsh publicity and condemnation from organizations such as Amnesty International, suggests to me that it might have come from high levels of the defense department or the justice department, if not from the White House itself.
It’s no coincidence that it’s someone from the state department who has gone off-message to speak out about this. When a branch of the US government makes a mockery of our pretensions to honor the rule of law, specifically our obligation not to use torture, the state department bears the brunt of that, as it affects our standing in the world.
The fact that Manning’s abusive mistreatment is going on at Quantico – where I spent nine months as a Marine officer in basic school – and that Marines are lying about it, makes me feel ashamed for the Corps. Just three years as an infantry officer was more than enough time for me to know that what is going on there is illegal behavior that must be stopped and disciplined
by Daniel Ellsberg, March 12, 2011
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President Obama tells us that he’s asked the Pentagon whether the conditions of confinement of Bradley Manning, the soldier charged with leaking state secrets, "are appropriate and are meeting our basic standards. They assure me that they are."
If Obama believes that, he’ll believe anything. I would hope he would know better than to ask the perpetrators whether they’ve been behaving appropriately. I can just hear President Nixon saying to a press conference the same thing: "I was assured by the the White House Plumbers that their burglary of the office of Daniel Ellsberg’s doctor in Los Angeles was appropriate and met basic standards."
When that criminal behavior ordered from the Oval Office came out, Nixon faced impeachment and had to resign. Well, times have changed. But if President Obama really doesn’t yet know the actual conditions of Manning’s detention – if he really believes, as he’s said, that "some of this [nudity, isolation, harassment, sleep-deprivation] has to do with Private Manning’s wellbeing", despite the contrary judgments of the prison psychologist – then he’s being lied to, and he needs to get a grip on his administration.
If he does know, and agrees that it’s appropriate or even legal, that doesn’t speak well for his memory of the courses he taught on constitutional law.
The president refused to comment on PJ Crowley’s statement that the treatment of Manning is "ridiculous, counterproductive and stupid". Those words are true enough as far as they go – which is probably about as far as a state department spokesperson can allow himself to go in condemning actions of the defense department. But at least two other words are called for: abusive and illegal.
Crowley was responding to a question about the "torturing" of an American citizen, and, creditably, he didn’t rebut that description. Prolonged isolation, sleep deprivation, nudity – that’s right out of the manual of the CIA for "enhanced interrogation". We’ve seen it applied in Guantánamo and Abu Ghraib. It’s what the CIA calls "no-touch torture", and its purpose there, as in this case, is very clear: to demoralize someone to the point of offering a desired confession. That’s what they are after, I suspect, with Manning. They don’t care if the confession is true or false, so long as it implicates WikiLeaks in a way that will help them prosecute Julian Assange.
That’s just my guess, as to their motives. But it does not affect the illegality of the behavior If I’m right, it’s likely that such harsh treatment wasn’t ordered at the level of a warrant officer or the brig commander. The fact that they have continued to inflict such suffering on the prisoner despite weeks of complaint from his defense counsel, harsh publicity and condemnation from organizations such as Amnesty International, suggests to me that it might have come from high levels of the defense department or the justice department, if not from the White House itself.
It’s no coincidence that it’s someone from the state department who has gone off-message to speak out about this. When a branch of the US government makes a mockery of our pretensions to honor the rule of law, specifically our obligation not to use torture, the state department bears the brunt of that, as it affects our standing in the world.
The fact that Manning’s abusive mistreatment is going on at Quantico – where I spent nine months as a Marine officer in basic school – and that Marines are lying about it, makes me feel ashamed for the Corps. Just three years as an infantry officer was more than enough time for me to know that what is going on there is illegal behavior that must be stopped and disciplined
100,000 Reported at Sanaa University Alone
Another day-of-rage in Yemen has given way to another record turnout amongst protesters nationwide, as around 100,000 were reported at Sanaa University, the site of daily protests and daily violent crackdowns in the capital city.
But the protests of course were not confined to Sanaa, and massive rallies in cities like Taiz, Aden, and indeed elsewhere across the nation were reported as well. Protests have been a regular part of daily life across the city for over a month now, as Yemenis demand the ouster of long-time dictator Ali Abdullah Saleh.
Saleh has promised a series of reforms aimed at quieting the protests, including a pledge not to run for reelection and, yesterday, a promise of a new constitution and referendum by the end of the year.
The opposition, however, insists that it is far too late for such offers, and particularly in the wake of a violent crackdown that they cannot possibly accept anything short of Saleh’s complete ouster. Though he continues to insist that won’t happen, the pressure on the US-backed dictator is continuing to grow.
But the protests of course were not confined to Sanaa, and massive rallies in cities like Taiz, Aden, and indeed elsewhere across the nation were reported as well. Protests have been a regular part of daily life across the city for over a month now, as Yemenis demand the ouster of long-time dictator Ali Abdullah Saleh.
Saleh has promised a series of reforms aimed at quieting the protests, including a pledge not to run for reelection and, yesterday, a promise of a new constitution and referendum by the end of the year.
The opposition, however, insists that it is far too late for such offers, and particularly in the wake of a violent crackdown that they cannot possibly accept anything short of Saleh’s complete ouster. Though he continues to insist that won’t happen, the pressure on the US-backed dictator is continuing to grow.
Regime Forces Crack Down on Protesters Near Royal Palace
Fresh off a visit to Brussels, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates arrived in Bahrain today for private talks with King Hamad, where he reportedly urged some unspecified reforms and talks with the massive protest movement demanding his ouster.
Pentagon officials insisted Gates’ visit was primarily to reassure King Hamad that the US is “committed” to their military presence in the nation (the island is home to America’s 5th fleet), and the calls for reform appear very secondary.
The calls for reforms may well have been embraced early on, when the protest movement was simply demanding improved conditions and more freedom. Since the violent crackdowns by the regime, however, the calls have increasingly been for a full ouster of the monarchy and its replacement with a democracy, something the US appears extremely averse to.
And the crackdowns are continuing today, as reports have police forces, backing with pro-regime protesters, attacking the massive anti-regime demonstrations as they got too close to the royal palace. The lesson that these crackdowns only spark more anger appears to be lost on officials
Pentagon officials insisted Gates’ visit was primarily to reassure King Hamad that the US is “committed” to their military presence in the nation (the island is home to America’s 5th fleet), and the calls for reform appear very secondary.
The calls for reforms may well have been embraced early on, when the protest movement was simply demanding improved conditions and more freedom. Since the violent crackdowns by the regime, however, the calls have increasingly been for a full ouster of the monarchy and its replacement with a democracy, something the US appears extremely averse to.
And the crackdowns are continuing today, as reports have police forces, backing with pro-regime protesters, attacking the massive anti-regime demonstrations as they got too close to the royal palace. The lesson that these crackdowns only spark more anger appears to be lost on officials
Troops Killed Doctor Earlier This Week in Salah al-Din
Iraqi Parliament Speaker Osama al-Nujaifi today called for a formal inquiry by the Security and Defense Committee to investigate several recent attacks by US “non-combat” troops in northern Iraq.
The attacks, according to Nujaifi, violate the Status of Forces Agreement prohibition against such operations going on without coordination by both provincial and national officials.
One attack earlier in this week came in the Salah al-Din Province, when an “air drop” operation led to an attack on a doctor in a small village and later to the arrest of his brother as a “suspect.” The incident was largely shrugged off by the US but caused quite a stir in Iraq’s parliament.
Parliament’s Health Committee already condemned the killing, and had likewise urged an investigation into the attack. The Security and Defense Committee, however, would be in a much better position to probe it.
The attacks, according to Nujaifi, violate the Status of Forces Agreement prohibition against such operations going on without coordination by both provincial and national officials.
One attack earlier in this week came in the Salah al-Din Province, when an “air drop” operation led to an attack on a doctor in a small village and later to the arrest of his brother as a “suspect.” The incident was largely shrugged off by the US but caused quite a stir in Iraq’s parliament.
Parliament’s Health Committee already condemned the killing, and had likewise urged an investigation into the attack. The Security and Defense Committee, however, would be in a much better position to probe it.
Regime Forces Crack Down on Protesters Near Royal Palace
Fresh off a visit to Brussels, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates arrived in Bahrain today for private talks with King Hamad, where he reportedly urged some unspecified reforms and talks with the massive protest movement demanding his ouster.
Pentagon officials insisted Gates’ visit was primarily to reassure King Hamad that the US is “committed” to their military presence in the nation (the island is home to America’s 5th fleet), and the calls for reform appear very secondary.
The calls for reforms may well have been embraced early on, when the protest movement was simply demanding improved conditions and more freedom. Since the violent crackdowns by the regime, however, the calls have increasingly been for a full ouster of the monarchy and its replacement with a democracy, something the US appears extremely averse to.
And the crackdowns are continuing today, as reports have police forces, backing with pro-regime protesters, attacking the massive anti-regime demonstrations as they got too close to the royal palace. The lesson that these crackdowns only spark more anger appears to be lost on officials
Pentagon officials insisted Gates’ visit was primarily to reassure King Hamad that the US is “committed” to their military presence in the nation (the island is home to America’s 5th fleet), and the calls for reform appear very secondary.
The calls for reforms may well have been embraced early on, when the protest movement was simply demanding improved conditions and more freedom. Since the violent crackdowns by the regime, however, the calls have increasingly been for a full ouster of the monarchy and its replacement with a democracy, something the US appears extremely averse to.
And the crackdowns are continuing today, as reports have police forces, backing with pro-regime protesters, attacking the massive anti-regime demonstrations as they got too close to the royal palace. The lesson that these crackdowns only spark more anger appears to be lost on officials
More NATO Ships to Deploy Near Libya
Western officials continue to emphasize an “all options on the table” military attitude toward the Gadhafi regime in Libya, though it seems there is still enough resistance to the immediate attack called for by some top officials to keep it from actually happening.
Still, the moves continue to be in that direction, as Secretary of Defense Robert Gates noted today that NATO has agreed to move some of its Mediterranean ships closer to the coast of Libya. NATO chief Anders Fogh Rasmussen insisted that NATO wouldn’t move further without a “clear legal basis.”
The European Union is also having a “crisis summit” to discuss Libya, and they likewise insist that “all options” are being considered, though the hawkish calls from French and British officials seem to be facing an uphill battle against German and Italian officials averse to starting yet another war.
As the fighting continues in Libya, officials have been hyping the prospect of a “no-fly zone,” though the fact that air strikes have only been intermittent have left many analysts wondering whether this would have any noticeable effect
Still, the moves continue to be in that direction, as Secretary of Defense Robert Gates noted today that NATO has agreed to move some of its Mediterranean ships closer to the coast of Libya. NATO chief Anders Fogh Rasmussen insisted that NATO wouldn’t move further without a “clear legal basis.”
The European Union is also having a “crisis summit” to discuss Libya, and they likewise insist that “all options” are being considered, though the hawkish calls from French and British officials seem to be facing an uphill battle against German and Italian officials averse to starting yet another war.
As the fighting continues in Libya, officials have been hyping the prospect of a “no-fly zone,” though the fact that air strikes have only been intermittent have left many analysts wondering whether this would have any noticeable effect
Terrorism - Islam's Viewpoint
Terrorism - Islam's Viewpoint
Islamic Fiqh Council, Saudi Arabia. Source: Muslim World League Journal, Jumad al-Ula 1423/July 2002 CE
During its sixteenth session, which was held between 21-27 Shawwal 1422 H (5-10 January 2002), the Islamic Fiqh Council laid emphasis on the fact that extremism, violence, and terrorism have no connection whatsoever with Islam. In fact, they are manifestations of perilous acts with dangerous consequences, and an aggression and iniquity against the individual.
Whosoever carefully studies the two sources of the Shari'ah (Islamic law), namely the Book of Allah [the Qur'an] and the Sunnah (Traditions) of Prophet Muhammad (peace be on him), would discoverthat they are devoid of any import of extremism, acts of violence or terrorism, which imply carrying out aggression against others without a just cause.
Therefore, in order to draw an Islamic definition of terrorism that unites the vision and attitudes of all Muslims; and in order to clearly state this fact and highlight the danger of associating Islam with extremism and terrorism, the Islamic Fiqh Council presents the following definition of terrorism and Islam's attitude toward it both to the Muslims and the world at large.
Definition of Terrorism
Terrorism is an outrageous attack carried out either by individuals, groups or states against the human being (his religion, life, intellect, property and honour). It includes all forms of intimidation, harm, threatening, killing without just cause and everything connected with any form of armed robbery, hence making pathways insecure, banditry, every act of violence or threatening intended to fulfil a criminal scheme individually or collectively, so as to terrify and horrify people by hurting them or by exposing their lives, liberty, security or conditions to danger; it can also take the form of inflicting damage on the environment or on a public or a private utility or exposing a national or natural resource to danger.
All these are manifestations of the mischief in the land, Allah has prohibited Muslims from committing. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And seek not occasions for mischief in the land: for Allah loves not those who do mischief" (28:77)
Hence Allah did not only enact deterrent punishment against terrorism, aggression and corruption, but considers these acts tantamount to waging war against Allah and His Messenger. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"The punishment of those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger, and strive with might and main for mischief through the land is: execution, or crucifixion, or cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land: That is their disgrace in this world, and a heavy punishment is theirs in the hereafter" (5:33)
Obviously, in view of the enormity of such acts of aggression, which are viewed by the Shari'ah (Islamic law) as an act of war against the laws and the creatures of God, there is no stricter punishment anywhere in the manmade laws. Moreover, according to the Islamic Fiqh Council, there are various forms of terrorism, which include state terrorism, the most conspicuous illustration and the most heinous of which is practiced in Palestine today by the Israelis, and by the Serbs in Bosnia- Herzegovina and Kosovo.
According to the Islamic Fiqh Council, state terrorism is the most menacing to security and peace in the world, and, therefore, standing up against it is tantamount to self defense and striving in the cause of Allah.
Islam's Remedy for Extremism & Terrorism
In combating terrorism and protecting society against its evil consequences, Islam is a trail-blazer. Through clear-cut limitations that must not be trespassed, Islam urges the protection of human life, honour, property, religion and intellect. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah, such persons wrong themselves as well as others" (2:229)
Accordingly, in furtherance of this honour bestowed upon mankind, Islam prohibit[s] man's injustice to his fellow man, and condemn[s] those who cause harm to people, not only in the Muslim world, but anywhere in the world. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Say: The things that my Lord has indeed forbidden are; shameful deeds, whether open or secret; sins and trespasses against truth or reason." And: "When he turns his back, his aim everywhere is to spread mischief through the earth and destroy crops and progeny. But Allah loves not mischief. When it is said to him 'Fear Allah,' he is led by arrogance to (more) crime. Enough for him is Hell - an evil bed indeed to lie on" (7:33 & 2:205-206)
Furthermore, Islam ordered its adherents to keep away from anything that may cause turmoil among the people, and warned at the same time, against its evil consequences. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And fear tumult or oppression, which affects not in particular (only) those of you who do wrong: And know that Allah is strict in punishment." (8:25)
In Islam, both the individual and the community are exhorted not only to tow the line of moderation, but likewise, to root out extremism and religious intolerance which are sure to destroy the mankind. The Prophet (peace be on him) said in a report by Imams Ahmad and Al-Nissaie:
"Beware of excesses in matters of religion. For, as a matter of fact, those before you were destroyed by religious immoderation"
Islam also addressed the issue of evil tendencies that are apt to lead to intimidation, terrifying, horrifying and killing without any just cause. The Prophet (peace be on him) said:
"A Muslim must not terrify a fellow Muslim"
And:
"Whoever points an iron rod towards his brother, the angels shall go on cursing him until he stopped, even if he (the victim) happens to be his full brother (from the sides of his father and mother)" (Sahih Muslim)
With regard to the Dhimmis (Non-Muslims living under Muslim protection), Islam ordered that they must be treated justly. It gave them rights and imposed duties on them. It gave them security in the Muslim world, and imposed blood-money and expiation for an act of killing committed against anyone among them. Allah says:
"If he belonged to a people with whom you have a treaty of mutual alliance, blood-money shall be paid to his family, and a believing slave be freed" (4:92)
Furthermore, in conformity with the saying of the Prophet (peace be on him), Islam prohibits the slaying of a Dhimmi living in the Muslim world.
"Whoever kills a person under the contract of protection shall never smell the scent of Paradise" (Ibn Majah)
Moreover, Islam does not forbid its followers from being charitable towards those who do not fight them or expel them from their homes. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Allah forbids you not, with regard to those who fight you not for your faith, nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: For Allah loves those who are just" (60:8)
And:
"And let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do" (5:8)
In view of the foregoing, therefore, the Islamic Fiqh Council would like to make it public that the felony of taking away one life without a just cause is tantamount to killing all people, whatever the faith of the murdered or the murderer; and that punishments and retributions are solely the prerogative of the ruler, not of individuals or groups.
Jihad is not Terrorism
In Islam, Jihad is ordained to uphold right, repel injustice and establish justice, peace, security and clemency, with which the Prophet (peace be on him) was sent to take mankind out of darkness into light. More specifically, Jihad has been ordained to eliminate all forms of terrorism, and to defend the homeland against occupation, plunder and colonialism.
Jihad is waged against those who support others in driving out people out of their homes, as well as against those who are in breach of their covenants. Jihad is meant to avoid tempting away Muslims from their faith or restricting their freedom to conduct peaceful propagation of their religion. Allah said:
"Allah forbids you not, with regard to those who fight you not for your faith, nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: For Allah loveth those who are just"
And:
"Allah only forbids you, with regard to those who fight you for your faith, and drive you out of your homes, and support others in driving you out, from turning to them (for friendship and protection). It is such as turn to them in these circumstances that do wrong." (60:8-9)
Islam has crystal clear rules and provisions that forbid the killing of non-combatants, innocent persons, such as the elderly, women and children; pursuit of fleeing persons, slaying persons who have surrendered, injuring prisoners, or mutilating the bodies of the dead, or destroying structures and buildings that have no connection with combat.
Thus it is illogical to equate violence committed by usurpers and tyrants who violate human dignity, defile sanctuaries and plunder wealth, with the right of legitimate self-defense, exercised by the oppressed in asserting their legitimate right of self-determination. In view of the above, the Islamic Fiqh Council would like to call the attention of all nations, peoples and organizations of the world to the necessity of drawing a distinction between legitimate Jihad against aggression or oppression designed to establish truth and justice, and the act of violence which aims at occupation of land, encroaching on national sovereignty and terrifying civilian populations and turning them into refugees.
Islamic Fiqh Council, Saudi Arabia. Source: Muslim World League Journal, Jumad al-Ula 1423/July 2002 CE
During its sixteenth session, which was held between 21-27 Shawwal 1422 H (5-10 January 2002), the Islamic Fiqh Council laid emphasis on the fact that extremism, violence, and terrorism have no connection whatsoever with Islam. In fact, they are manifestations of perilous acts with dangerous consequences, and an aggression and iniquity against the individual.
Whosoever carefully studies the two sources of the Shari'ah (Islamic law), namely the Book of Allah [the Qur'an] and the Sunnah (Traditions) of Prophet Muhammad (peace be on him), would discoverthat they are devoid of any import of extremism, acts of violence or terrorism, which imply carrying out aggression against others without a just cause.
Therefore, in order to draw an Islamic definition of terrorism that unites the vision and attitudes of all Muslims; and in order to clearly state this fact and highlight the danger of associating Islam with extremism and terrorism, the Islamic Fiqh Council presents the following definition of terrorism and Islam's attitude toward it both to the Muslims and the world at large.
Definition of Terrorism
Terrorism is an outrageous attack carried out either by individuals, groups or states against the human being (his religion, life, intellect, property and honour). It includes all forms of intimidation, harm, threatening, killing without just cause and everything connected with any form of armed robbery, hence making pathways insecure, banditry, every act of violence or threatening intended to fulfil a criminal scheme individually or collectively, so as to terrify and horrify people by hurting them or by exposing their lives, liberty, security or conditions to danger; it can also take the form of inflicting damage on the environment or on a public or a private utility or exposing a national or natural resource to danger.
All these are manifestations of the mischief in the land, Allah has prohibited Muslims from committing. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And seek not occasions for mischief in the land: for Allah loves not those who do mischief" (28:77)
Hence Allah did not only enact deterrent punishment against terrorism, aggression and corruption, but considers these acts tantamount to waging war against Allah and His Messenger. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"The punishment of those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger, and strive with might and main for mischief through the land is: execution, or crucifixion, or cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land: That is their disgrace in this world, and a heavy punishment is theirs in the hereafter" (5:33)
Obviously, in view of the enormity of such acts of aggression, which are viewed by the Shari'ah (Islamic law) as an act of war against the laws and the creatures of God, there is no stricter punishment anywhere in the manmade laws. Moreover, according to the Islamic Fiqh Council, there are various forms of terrorism, which include state terrorism, the most conspicuous illustration and the most heinous of which is practiced in Palestine today by the Israelis, and by the Serbs in Bosnia- Herzegovina and Kosovo.
According to the Islamic Fiqh Council, state terrorism is the most menacing to security and peace in the world, and, therefore, standing up against it is tantamount to self defense and striving in the cause of Allah.
Islam's Remedy for Extremism & Terrorism
In combating terrorism and protecting society against its evil consequences, Islam is a trail-blazer. Through clear-cut limitations that must not be trespassed, Islam urges the protection of human life, honour, property, religion and intellect. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah, such persons wrong themselves as well as others" (2:229)
Accordingly, in furtherance of this honour bestowed upon mankind, Islam prohibit[s] man's injustice to his fellow man, and condemn[s] those who cause harm to people, not only in the Muslim world, but anywhere in the world. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Say: The things that my Lord has indeed forbidden are; shameful deeds, whether open or secret; sins and trespasses against truth or reason." And: "When he turns his back, his aim everywhere is to spread mischief through the earth and destroy crops and progeny. But Allah loves not mischief. When it is said to him 'Fear Allah,' he is led by arrogance to (more) crime. Enough for him is Hell - an evil bed indeed to lie on" (7:33 & 2:205-206)
Furthermore, Islam ordered its adherents to keep away from anything that may cause turmoil among the people, and warned at the same time, against its evil consequences. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And fear tumult or oppression, which affects not in particular (only) those of you who do wrong: And know that Allah is strict in punishment." (8:25)
In Islam, both the individual and the community are exhorted not only to tow the line of moderation, but likewise, to root out extremism and religious intolerance which are sure to destroy the mankind. The Prophet (peace be on him) said in a report by Imams Ahmad and Al-Nissaie:
"Beware of excesses in matters of religion. For, as a matter of fact, those before you were destroyed by religious immoderation"
Islam also addressed the issue of evil tendencies that are apt to lead to intimidation, terrifying, horrifying and killing without any just cause. The Prophet (peace be on him) said:
"A Muslim must not terrify a fellow Muslim"
And:
"Whoever points an iron rod towards his brother, the angels shall go on cursing him until he stopped, even if he (the victim) happens to be his full brother (from the sides of his father and mother)" (Sahih Muslim)
With regard to the Dhimmis (Non-Muslims living under Muslim protection), Islam ordered that they must be treated justly. It gave them rights and imposed duties on them. It gave them security in the Muslim world, and imposed blood-money and expiation for an act of killing committed against anyone among them. Allah says:
"If he belonged to a people with whom you have a treaty of mutual alliance, blood-money shall be paid to his family, and a believing slave be freed" (4:92)
Furthermore, in conformity with the saying of the Prophet (peace be on him), Islam prohibits the slaying of a Dhimmi living in the Muslim world.
"Whoever kills a person under the contract of protection shall never smell the scent of Paradise" (Ibn Majah)
Moreover, Islam does not forbid its followers from being charitable towards those who do not fight them or expel them from their homes. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Allah forbids you not, with regard to those who fight you not for your faith, nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: For Allah loves those who are just" (60:8)
And:
"And let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do" (5:8)
In view of the foregoing, therefore, the Islamic Fiqh Council would like to make it public that the felony of taking away one life without a just cause is tantamount to killing all people, whatever the faith of the murdered or the murderer; and that punishments and retributions are solely the prerogative of the ruler, not of individuals or groups.
Jihad is not Terrorism
In Islam, Jihad is ordained to uphold right, repel injustice and establish justice, peace, security and clemency, with which the Prophet (peace be on him) was sent to take mankind out of darkness into light. More specifically, Jihad has been ordained to eliminate all forms of terrorism, and to defend the homeland against occupation, plunder and colonialism.
Jihad is waged against those who support others in driving out people out of their homes, as well as against those who are in breach of their covenants. Jihad is meant to avoid tempting away Muslims from their faith or restricting their freedom to conduct peaceful propagation of their religion. Allah said:
"Allah forbids you not, with regard to those who fight you not for your faith, nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: For Allah loveth those who are just"
And:
"Allah only forbids you, with regard to those who fight you for your faith, and drive you out of your homes, and support others in driving you out, from turning to them (for friendship and protection). It is such as turn to them in these circumstances that do wrong." (60:8-9)
Islam has crystal clear rules and provisions that forbid the killing of non-combatants, innocent persons, such as the elderly, women and children; pursuit of fleeing persons, slaying persons who have surrendered, injuring prisoners, or mutilating the bodies of the dead, or destroying structures and buildings that have no connection with combat.
Thus it is illogical to equate violence committed by usurpers and tyrants who violate human dignity, defile sanctuaries and plunder wealth, with the right of legitimate self-defense, exercised by the oppressed in asserting their legitimate right of self-determination. In view of the above, the Islamic Fiqh Council would like to call the attention of all nations, peoples and organizations of the world to the necessity of drawing a distinction between legitimate Jihad against aggression or oppression designed to establish truth and justice, and the act of violence which aims at occupation of land, encroaching on national sovereignty and terrifying civilian populations and turning them into refugees.
How Islam Fought Terrorism
How Islam Fought Terrorism
While Caesar had sleepless nights, Umar (RA) slept under a tree without anyone guarding him.
The U.S. method of fighting terrorism by force, injustice, pre-emptive strikes, unilateral action and "regime change" only adds fuel to the fire. As witnessed by the recent world events.
The Bush administration has released a new National Security Strategy document which has been likened by the Moscow Times to Hitler's Mein Kampf, and described by the New York Times as Bush's "how I'll rule the world" blueprint.
This method which is used by Israel has only been devastating to both sides if measured in human cost, loss of freedom, psychological trauma and economic loss. The U.S. and the rest of the World will be expected to suffer similar losses when it mirrors the method used by Israel and Hitler as shown by the following statement from the Bush administration, "the only path to peace and security is the path of action". That is, the U.S. must wage a perpetual war, because without war there can be no peace.
If we compare this attitude with that of the Early Muslims who are considered the best generation, we find the following example of Caliph Omar.
The Caliph Omar was the governor or president of the Islamic Empire, which included Saudi Arabia, Palestine, Syria, Egypt, North Africa and Spain.
One day Caesar wanted to know how Omar lived and how he treated his people. He sent a person to Al Medina where Omar lived.
When this man entered Al Medina he asked the people, "where is your king?" The people replied, "we have no king but we have an Amir similar to a president." This man asked, "where is he?" They told him, " he is outside Al Medina."
He went to find him. What did this man see? He saw Omar sleeping alone on the sand holding a little stick with no guards around him.
When he saw him like that he became very impressed and ashamed of himself and said, "A man all the kings in the world are scared from, sleeps that humble without any guards? You governed your people with justice and honesty so you became safe and slept. Our king is unjust and dishonest. That is why he is always scared and awake most of the night surrounded by guards inside a fortress.
Fighting terrorism is only by spreading justice and education, but not by force as what is happening now.
In the Qur'aan, Surah Al Nahl (16) verse 90, " Allah commands justice, the doing of good and looking after our relatives. Allah forbids all shameful deeds, injustice and rebellion. Allah instructs you so you may comprehend."
However, spreading only justice is not enough because some ignorant people may do acts of terrorism.
In Surah Al Nahl (16) v. 125, " O Mohammed, invite to the way of your Lord, which is Islam, with wisdom and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, you Lord knows best who has gone astray from his path, and he is the best aware of who are guided."
This was the character of the Early Muslims which allowed Islam to spread throughout the whole World. Allah said that the most honorable to Allah is the most fearful of Allah and not the richest, strongest or those who belong to a certain group or nationality as shown in Al Hujurat (49) v. 13. "O mankind; we have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another. Verily the most honorable of you to Allah is that who is most faithful, pious and fearful of Allah."
There are numerous historical examples in the Qur'aan showing the eventual outcome of oppressive tyrants such as Pharaoh compared to those who are righteous. The Qur'aan teaches us the morality, wisdom and meaning behind these events.
Unfortunately in Schools and Universities, history is only taught in a factual manner only showing the consequences of military conquests where morality, responsibility and accountability are considered irrelevant. It is no wonder that we can never learn from our previous mistakes. Particularly if the Christians insist on believing the Paulian idea that "the means justifies the aims". That is, it does not matter how evil your actions are as long as your intentions are good.
Whereas, for a good deed to be accepted in Islam, it must be sincere, with good intentions and done according to the Sunnah of our Prophet
While Caesar had sleepless nights, Umar (RA) slept under a tree without anyone guarding him.
The U.S. method of fighting terrorism by force, injustice, pre-emptive strikes, unilateral action and "regime change" only adds fuel to the fire. As witnessed by the recent world events.
The Bush administration has released a new National Security Strategy document which has been likened by the Moscow Times to Hitler's Mein Kampf, and described by the New York Times as Bush's "how I'll rule the world" blueprint.
This method which is used by Israel has only been devastating to both sides if measured in human cost, loss of freedom, psychological trauma and economic loss. The U.S. and the rest of the World will be expected to suffer similar losses when it mirrors the method used by Israel and Hitler as shown by the following statement from the Bush administration, "the only path to peace and security is the path of action". That is, the U.S. must wage a perpetual war, because without war there can be no peace.
If we compare this attitude with that of the Early Muslims who are considered the best generation, we find the following example of Caliph Omar.
The Caliph Omar was the governor or president of the Islamic Empire, which included Saudi Arabia, Palestine, Syria, Egypt, North Africa and Spain.
One day Caesar wanted to know how Omar lived and how he treated his people. He sent a person to Al Medina where Omar lived.
When this man entered Al Medina he asked the people, "where is your king?" The people replied, "we have no king but we have an Amir similar to a president." This man asked, "where is he?" They told him, " he is outside Al Medina."
He went to find him. What did this man see? He saw Omar sleeping alone on the sand holding a little stick with no guards around him.
When he saw him like that he became very impressed and ashamed of himself and said, "A man all the kings in the world are scared from, sleeps that humble without any guards? You governed your people with justice and honesty so you became safe and slept. Our king is unjust and dishonest. That is why he is always scared and awake most of the night surrounded by guards inside a fortress.
Fighting terrorism is only by spreading justice and education, but not by force as what is happening now.
In the Qur'aan, Surah Al Nahl (16) verse 90, " Allah commands justice, the doing of good and looking after our relatives. Allah forbids all shameful deeds, injustice and rebellion. Allah instructs you so you may comprehend."
However, spreading only justice is not enough because some ignorant people may do acts of terrorism.
In Surah Al Nahl (16) v. 125, " O Mohammed, invite to the way of your Lord, which is Islam, with wisdom and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, you Lord knows best who has gone astray from his path, and he is the best aware of who are guided."
This was the character of the Early Muslims which allowed Islam to spread throughout the whole World. Allah said that the most honorable to Allah is the most fearful of Allah and not the richest, strongest or those who belong to a certain group or nationality as shown in Al Hujurat (49) v. 13. "O mankind; we have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another. Verily the most honorable of you to Allah is that who is most faithful, pious and fearful of Allah."
There are numerous historical examples in the Qur'aan showing the eventual outcome of oppressive tyrants such as Pharaoh compared to those who are righteous. The Qur'aan teaches us the morality, wisdom and meaning behind these events.
Unfortunately in Schools and Universities, history is only taught in a factual manner only showing the consequences of military conquests where morality, responsibility and accountability are considered irrelevant. It is no wonder that we can never learn from our previous mistakes. Particularly if the Christians insist on believing the Paulian idea that "the means justifies the aims". That is, it does not matter how evil your actions are as long as your intentions are good.
Whereas, for a good deed to be accepted in Islam, it must be sincere, with good intentions and done according to the Sunnah of our Prophet
Statistics About Domestic Abuse
Statistics About Domestic Abuse
DID YOU KNOW THAT:
Approximately 95% of the victims of domestic violence are women.
(Department of Justice figures)
Every 9 seconds in the United States a woman is assaulted and beaten.
4,000,000 women a year are assaulted by their partners.
In the United States, a woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped, or killed by a male partner than by any other type of assailant.
Every day, 4 women are murdered by boyfriends or husbands.
Prison terms for killing husbands are twice as long as for killing wives.
93% of women who killed their mates had been battered by them. 67% killed them to protect themselves and their children at the moment of murder.
25% of all crime is wife assault.
70% of men who batter their partners either sexually or physically abuse their children.
Domestic violence is the number one cause of emergency room visits by women.
73% of the battered women seeking emergency medical services have already separated from the abuser.
Women are most likely to be killed when attempting to leave the abuser. In fact, they're at a 75% higher risk than those who stay.
The number-one cause of women's injuries is abuse at home. This abuse happens more often than car accidents, mugging, and rape combined.
Up to 37% of all women experience battering. This is an estimated 566,000 women in Minnesota alone.
Battering often occurs during pregnancy. One study found that 37% of pregnant women, across all class, race, and educational lines, were physically abused during pregnancy.
60% of all battered women are beaten while they are pregnant.
34% of the female homicide victims over age 15 are killed by their husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends.
2/3 of all marriages will experience domestic violence at least once.
Weapons are used in 30% of domestic violence incidents.
Approximately 1,155,600 adult American women have been victims of one or more forcible rapes by their husbands.
Over 90% of murder-suicides involving couples are perpetrated by the man. 19-26% of male spouse-murderers committed suicide.
When only spouse abuse was considered, divorced or separated men committed 79% of the assaults and husbands committed 21%.
Abusive husbands and lovers harass 74% of employed battered women at work, either in person or over the telephone, causing 20% to lose their jobs.
Physical violence in dating relationships ranges from 20-35%.
It is estimated that between 20% to 52% of high school and college age dating couples have engaged in physical abuse.
More than 50% of child abductions result from domestic violence.
Injuries that battered women receive are at least as serious as injuries suffered in 90% of violent felony crimes.
In 1991, only 17 states kept data on reported domestic violence offenses. These reports were limited to murder, rape, robbery, and serious bodily injury.
More than half of battered women stay with their batterer because they do not feel that they can support themselves and their children alone.
In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are abused at a rate 1,500% higher than the national average.
Up to 64% of hospitalized female psychiatric patients have histories of being physically abused as adults.
50% of the homeless women and children in the U.S. are fleeing abuse.
The amount spent to shelter animals is three times the amount spent to provide emergency shelter to women from domestic abuse situations.
Family violence kills as many women every 5 years as the total number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War.
DID YOU KNOW THAT:
Approximately 95% of the victims of domestic violence are women.
(Department of Justice figures)
Every 9 seconds in the United States a woman is assaulted and beaten.
4,000,000 women a year are assaulted by their partners.
In the United States, a woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped, or killed by a male partner than by any other type of assailant.
Every day, 4 women are murdered by boyfriends or husbands.
Prison terms for killing husbands are twice as long as for killing wives.
93% of women who killed their mates had been battered by them. 67% killed them to protect themselves and their children at the moment of murder.
25% of all crime is wife assault.
70% of men who batter their partners either sexually or physically abuse their children.
Domestic violence is the number one cause of emergency room visits by women.
73% of the battered women seeking emergency medical services have already separated from the abuser.
Women are most likely to be killed when attempting to leave the abuser. In fact, they're at a 75% higher risk than those who stay.
The number-one cause of women's injuries is abuse at home. This abuse happens more often than car accidents, mugging, and rape combined.
Up to 37% of all women experience battering. This is an estimated 566,000 women in Minnesota alone.
Battering often occurs during pregnancy. One study found that 37% of pregnant women, across all class, race, and educational lines, were physically abused during pregnancy.
60% of all battered women are beaten while they are pregnant.
34% of the female homicide victims over age 15 are killed by their husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends.
2/3 of all marriages will experience domestic violence at least once.
Weapons are used in 30% of domestic violence incidents.
Approximately 1,155,600 adult American women have been victims of one or more forcible rapes by their husbands.
Over 90% of murder-suicides involving couples are perpetrated by the man. 19-26% of male spouse-murderers committed suicide.
When only spouse abuse was considered, divorced or separated men committed 79% of the assaults and husbands committed 21%.
Abusive husbands and lovers harass 74% of employed battered women at work, either in person or over the telephone, causing 20% to lose their jobs.
Physical violence in dating relationships ranges from 20-35%.
It is estimated that between 20% to 52% of high school and college age dating couples have engaged in physical abuse.
More than 50% of child abductions result from domestic violence.
Injuries that battered women receive are at least as serious as injuries suffered in 90% of violent felony crimes.
In 1991, only 17 states kept data on reported domestic violence offenses. These reports were limited to murder, rape, robbery, and serious bodily injury.
More than half of battered women stay with their batterer because they do not feel that they can support themselves and their children alone.
In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are abused at a rate 1,500% higher than the national average.
Up to 64% of hospitalized female psychiatric patients have histories of being physically abused as adults.
50% of the homeless women and children in the U.S. are fleeing abuse.
The amount spent to shelter animals is three times the amount spent to provide emergency shelter to women from domestic abuse situations.
Family violence kills as many women every 5 years as the total number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War.
Women Abuse In America
Women Abuse In America
4 million American women experience a serious assault by a partner during an average 12-month period. 1
On the average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day.2
92% of women say that reducing domestic violence and sexual assault should be at the top of any formal efforts taken on behalf of women today.3
1 out of 3 women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.4
1 in 5 female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Abused girls are significantly more likely to get involved in other risky behaviors. They are 4 to 6 times more likely to get pregnant and 8 to 9 times more likely to have tried to commit suicide.5
1 in 3 teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, slapped, choked or physically hurt by his/her partner.6
Women of all races are equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.7
37% of all women who sought care in hospital emergency rooms for violence–related injuries were injured by a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend.8
Some estimates say almost 1 million incidents of violence occur against a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend per year. 9
For 30% of women who experience abuse, the first incident occurs during pregnancy.10
As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy. 11
Violence against women costs companies $72.8 million annually due to lost productivity.12
74% of employed battered women were harrassed by their partner while they were at work.13
Ninety-four percent of the offenders in murder-suicides were male.14
Seventy-four percent of all murder-suicides involved an intimate partner(spouse, common-law spouse, ex-spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend). Of these, 96 percent were females killed by their intimate partners.14
Most murder-suicides with three or more victims involved a "family annihilator" -- a subcategory of intimate partner murder-suicide.Family annihilators are murderers who kill not only their wives/girlfriends and children, but often other family members as well,before killing themselves.14
Seventy-five percent of murder-suicides occurred in the home.14
1. Henise, L., Ellsberg, M. and Geottemoeller, M. Ending Violence Against Women, Population Reports, Series L, No. 11., December 1999.
2. Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001. February 2003.
3. Liz Claiborne Inc., study on Teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.
4. Jay G. Silverman, PhD; Anita Raj, PhD; Lorelei A. Mucci, MPH; and Jeannie E. Hathaway, MD, MPH, “Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy , and Suicidality,” Journal of the American Medical Association, Vol. 286, No. 5, 2001.
5. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Violence Against Women: Estimates from the Redesigned Survey, August 1995.
6. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, February 2003.
7. US. Department of Justice, Violence? Related Injuries Treated in Hospital Emergency Departments, August 1997.
8. US Department of Justice
9. The Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman’s Lifespan: 1998 Survey of Women’s Health, May 1999.
10. Helton et al 1987.
11. Gazmararian JA, Petersen R, Spitz AM, Goodwin MM, Saltzman LE, Marks JS. “Violence and reproductive health; current knowledge and future research directions.” Maternal and Child Health Journal 2000; 4(2):79-84
12. Costs of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the United States. 2003. Center for disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Atlanta, GA/
13. Family Violence Prevention Fund. 1998. The Workplace Guide for Employer, Unions, and Advocates, San Francisco, CA.
14. Violence Policy Center (VPC), American Roulette: Murder-Suicide in the United States, April 2006
4 million American women experience a serious assault by a partner during an average 12-month period. 1
On the average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day.2
92% of women say that reducing domestic violence and sexual assault should be at the top of any formal efforts taken on behalf of women today.3
1 out of 3 women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.4
1 in 5 female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Abused girls are significantly more likely to get involved in other risky behaviors. They are 4 to 6 times more likely to get pregnant and 8 to 9 times more likely to have tried to commit suicide.5
1 in 3 teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, slapped, choked or physically hurt by his/her partner.6
Women of all races are equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.7
37% of all women who sought care in hospital emergency rooms for violence–related injuries were injured by a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend.8
Some estimates say almost 1 million incidents of violence occur against a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend per year. 9
For 30% of women who experience abuse, the first incident occurs during pregnancy.10
As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy. 11
Violence against women costs companies $72.8 million annually due to lost productivity.12
74% of employed battered women were harrassed by their partner while they were at work.13
Ninety-four percent of the offenders in murder-suicides were male.14
Seventy-four percent of all murder-suicides involved an intimate partner(spouse, common-law spouse, ex-spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend). Of these, 96 percent were females killed by their intimate partners.14
Most murder-suicides with three or more victims involved a "family annihilator" -- a subcategory of intimate partner murder-suicide.Family annihilators are murderers who kill not only their wives/girlfriends and children, but often other family members as well,before killing themselves.14
Seventy-five percent of murder-suicides occurred in the home.14
1. Henise, L., Ellsberg, M. and Geottemoeller, M. Ending Violence Against Women, Population Reports, Series L, No. 11., December 1999.
2. Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001. February 2003.
3. Liz Claiborne Inc., study on Teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.
4. Jay G. Silverman, PhD; Anita Raj, PhD; Lorelei A. Mucci, MPH; and Jeannie E. Hathaway, MD, MPH, “Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy , and Suicidality,” Journal of the American Medical Association, Vol. 286, No. 5, 2001.
5. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Violence Against Women: Estimates from the Redesigned Survey, August 1995.
6. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, February 2003.
7. US. Department of Justice, Violence? Related Injuries Treated in Hospital Emergency Departments, August 1997.
8. US Department of Justice
9. The Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman’s Lifespan: 1998 Survey of Women’s Health, May 1999.
10. Helton et al 1987.
11. Gazmararian JA, Petersen R, Spitz AM, Goodwin MM, Saltzman LE, Marks JS. “Violence and reproductive health; current knowledge and future research directions.” Maternal and Child Health Journal 2000; 4(2):79-84
12. Costs of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the United States. 2003. Center for disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Atlanta, GA/
13. Family Violence Prevention Fund. 1998. The Workplace Guide for Employer, Unions, and Advocates, San Francisco, CA.
14. Violence Policy Center (VPC), American Roulette: Murder-Suicide in the United States, April 2006
10 Murder-Suicides Occur Each Week in America New Violence Policy Center Study
10 Murder-Suicides Occur Each Week in America New Violence Policy Center Study Reveals
May 9, 2006
WASHINGTON, May 2 /PRNewswire/ -- More than 10 murder-suicides, almost all by gun, occur each week in the United States, according to American Roulette: Murder-Suicide in the United States, (http://www.vpc.org/studies/amroul2006.pdf or here) a new study by the Violence Policy Center (VPC). The study used a national news clipping service and Internet survey tools to collect incidents nationwide from January 1, 2005, through June 30, 2005, and is one of the largest and most comprehensive studies ever conducted on murder-suicide. During this six-month period, at least 591 Americans died in 264 murder-suicides, and almost all murder-suicides (92 percent) involved a firearm. Using these figures, the VPC estimates that nearly 1,200 Americans die each year in murder-suicides. Additional study findings include --
Six states had more than 10 murder-suicides in the six-month study period: Pennsylvania (18); Texas (18); California (17); Florida (15); North Carolina (14); and, Tennessee (11).
Ninety-four percent of the offenders in murder-suicides were male.
Seventy-four percent of all murder-suicides involved an intimate partner (spouse, common-law spouse, ex-spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend). Of these, 96 percent were females killed by their intimate partners.
Most murder-suicides with three or more victims involved a "family annihilator" -- a subcategory of intimate partner murder-suicide. Family annihilators are murderers who kill not only their wives/girlfriends and children, but often other family members as well, before killing themselves.
Forty-seven children and teens under the age of 18 were murdered in murder-suicides.
Most murderers in murder-suicides are older than their victims.
Seventy-five percent of murder-suicides occurred in the home. VPC Legislative Director Kristen Rand states, "Murder-suicide wreaks havoc on hundreds of American families each year. Much more needs to be done to understand and prevent murder-suicide. One key aspect of prevention is reducing access to firearms, by far the weapon of choice in murder-suicide."
The Violence Policy Center is a national non-profit educational organization working for a safer America through research, analysis, education, and advocacy. To obtain a copy of the study, visit the VPC's web site at http://www.vpc.org.
May 9, 2006
WASHINGTON, May 2 /PRNewswire/ -- More than 10 murder-suicides, almost all by gun, occur each week in the United States, according to American Roulette: Murder-Suicide in the United States, (http://www.vpc.org/studies/amroul2006.pdf or here) a new study by the Violence Policy Center (VPC). The study used a national news clipping service and Internet survey tools to collect incidents nationwide from January 1, 2005, through June 30, 2005, and is one of the largest and most comprehensive studies ever conducted on murder-suicide. During this six-month period, at least 591 Americans died in 264 murder-suicides, and almost all murder-suicides (92 percent) involved a firearm. Using these figures, the VPC estimates that nearly 1,200 Americans die each year in murder-suicides. Additional study findings include --
Six states had more than 10 murder-suicides in the six-month study period: Pennsylvania (18); Texas (18); California (17); Florida (15); North Carolina (14); and, Tennessee (11).
Ninety-four percent of the offenders in murder-suicides were male.
Seventy-four percent of all murder-suicides involved an intimate partner (spouse, common-law spouse, ex-spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend). Of these, 96 percent were females killed by their intimate partners.
Most murder-suicides with three or more victims involved a "family annihilator" -- a subcategory of intimate partner murder-suicide. Family annihilators are murderers who kill not only their wives/girlfriends and children, but often other family members as well, before killing themselves.
Forty-seven children and teens under the age of 18 were murdered in murder-suicides.
Most murderers in murder-suicides are older than their victims.
Seventy-five percent of murder-suicides occurred in the home. VPC Legislative Director Kristen Rand states, "Murder-suicide wreaks havoc on hundreds of American families each year. Much more needs to be done to understand and prevent murder-suicide. One key aspect of prevention is reducing access to firearms, by far the weapon of choice in murder-suicide."
The Violence Policy Center is a national non-profit educational organization working for a safer America through research, analysis, education, and advocacy. To obtain a copy of the study, visit the VPC's web site at http://www.vpc.org.
FOOTNOTES
FOOTNOTES
1. The Globe and Mail, Oct. 4,1994.
2. Leonard J. Swidler, Women in Judaism: the Status of Women in Formative Judaism (Metuchen, N.J: Scarecrow Press, 1976) p. 115.
3. Thena Kendath, "Memories of an Orthodox youth" in Susannah Heschel, ed. On being a Jewish Feminist (New York: Schocken Books, 1983), pp. 96-97.
4. Swidler, op. cit., pp. 80-81.
5. Rosemary R. Ruether, "Christianity", in Arvind Sharma, ed., Women in World Religions (Albany: State University of New York Press, 1987) p. 209.
6. For all the sayings of the prominent Saints, see Karen Armstrong, The Gospel According to Woman (London: Elm Tree Books, 1986) pp. 52-62. See also Nancy van Vuuren, The Subversion of Women as Practiced by Churches, Witch-Hunters, and Other Sexists (Philadelphia: Westminister Press) pp. 28-30.
7. Swidler, op. cit., p. 140.
8. Denise L. Carmody, "Judaism", in Arvind Sharma, ed., op. cit., p. 197.
9. Swidler, op. cit., p. 137.
10. Ibid., p. 138.
11. Sally Priesand, Judaism and the New Woman (New York: Behrman House, Inc., 1975) p. 24.
12. Swidler, op. cit., p. 115.
13. Lesley Hazleton, Israeli Women The Reality Behind the Myths (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1977) p. 41.
14. Gage, op. cit. p. 142.
15. Jeffrey H. Togay, "Adultery," Encyclopaedia Judaica, Vol. II, col. 313. Also, see Judith Plaskow, Standing Again at Sinai: Judaism from a Feminist Perspective (New York: Harper & Row Publishers, 1990) pp. 170-177.
16. Hazleton, op. cit., pp. 41-42.
17. Swidler, op. cit., p. 141.
18. Matilda J. Gage, Woman, Church, and State (New York: Truth Seeker Company, 1893) p. 141.
19. Louis M. Epstein, The Jewish Marriage Contract (New York: Arno Press, 1973) p. 149.
20. Swidler, op. cit., p. 142.
21. Epstein, op. cit., pp. 164-165.
22. Ibid., pp. 112-113. See also Priesand, op. cit., p. 15.
23. James A. Brundage, Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe ( Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1987) p. 88.
24. Ibid., p. 480.
25. R. Thompson, Women in Stuart England and America (London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1974) p. 162.
26. Mary Murray, The Law of the Father (London: Routledge, 1995) p. 67.
27. Gage, op. cit., p. 143.
28. For example, see Jeffrey Lang, Struggling to Surrender, (Beltsville, MD: Amana Publications, 1994) p. 167.
29. Elsayyed Sabiq, Fiqh al Sunnah (Cairo: Darul Fatah lile'lam Al-Arabi, 11th edition, 1994), vol. 2, pp. 218-229.
30. Abdel-Haleem Abu Shuqqa, Tahreer al Mar'aa fi Asr al Risala (Kuwait: Dar al Qalam, 1990) pp. 109-112.
31. Leila Badawi, "Islam", in Jean Holm and John Bowker, ed., Women in Religion (London: Pinter Publishers, 1994) p. 102.
32. Amir H. Siddiqi, Studies in Islamic History (Karachi: Jamiyatul Falah Publications, 3rd edition, 1967) p. 138.
33. Epstein, op. cit., p. 196.
34. Swidler, op. cit., pp. 162-163.
35. The Toronto Star, Apr. 8, 1995.
36. Sabiq, op. cit., pp. 318-329. See also Muhammad al Ghazali, Qadaya al Mar'aa bin al Taqaleed al Rakida wal Wafida (Cairo: Dar al Shorooq, 4th edition, 1992) pp. 178-180.
37. Ibid., pp. 313-318.
38. David W. Amram, The Jewish Law of Divorce According to Bible and Talmud ( Philadelphia: Edward Stern & CO., Inc., 1896) pp. 125-126.
39. Epstein, op. cit., p. 219.
40. Ibid, pp 156-157.
41. Muhammad Abu Zahra, Usbu al Fiqh al Islami (Cairo: al Majlis al A'la li Ri'ayat al Funun, 1963) p. 66.
42. Epstein, op. cit., p. 122.
43. Armstrong, op. cit., p. 8.
44. Epstein, op. cit., p. 175.
45. Ibid., p. 121.
46. Gage, op. cit., p. 142.
47. B. Aisha Lemu and Fatima Heeren, Woman in Islam (London: Islamic Foundation, 1978) p. 23.
48. Hazleton, op. cit., pp. 45-46.
49. Ibid., p. 47.
50. Ibid., p. 49.
51. Swidler, op. cit., pp. 144-148.
52. Hazleton, op. cit., pp 44-45.
53. Eugene Hillman, Polygamy Reconsidered: African Plural Marriage and the Christian Churches (New York: Orbis Books, 1975) p. 140.
54. Ibid., p. 17.
55. Ibid., pp. 88-93.
56. Ibid., pp. 92-97.
57. Philip L. Kilbride, Plural Marriage For Our Times (Westport, Conn.: Bergin & Garvey, 1994) pp. 108-109.
58. The Weekly Review, Aug. 1, 1987.
59. Kilbride, op. cit., p. 126.
60. John D'Emilio and Estelle B. Freedman, Intimate Matters: A history of Sexuality in America (New York: Harper & Row Publishers, 1988) p. 87.
61. Ute Frevert, Women in German History: from Bourgeois Emancipation to Sexual Liberation (New York: Berg Publishers, 1988) pp. 263-264.
62. Ibid., pp. 257-258.
63. Sabiq, op. cit., p. 191.
64. Hillman, op. cit., p. 12.
65. Nathan Hare and Julie Hare, ed., Crisis in Black Sexual Politics (San Francisco: Black Think Tank, 1989) p. 25.
66. Ibid., p. 26.
67. Kilbride, op. cit., p. 94.
68. Ibid., p. 95.
69. Ibid.
70. Ibid., pp. 95-99.
71. Ibid., p. 118.
72. Lang, op. cit., p. 172.
73. Kilbride, op. cit., pp. 72-73.
74. Sabiq, op. cit., pp. 187-188.
75. Abdul Rahman Doi, Woman in Shari'ah (London: Ta-Ha Publishers, 1994) p. 76.
76. Menachem M. Brayer, The Jewish Woman in Rabbinic Literature: A Psychosocial Perspective (Hoboken, N.J: Ktav Publishing House, 1986) p. 239.
77. Ibid., pp. 316-317. Also see Swidler, op. cit., pp. 121-123.
78. Ibid., p. 139.
79. Susan W. Schneider, Jewish and Female (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1984) p. 237.
80. Ibid., pp. 238-239.
81. Alexandra Wright, "Judaism", in Holm and Bowker, ed., op. cit., pp. 128-129
82. Clara M. Henning, "Cannon Law and the Battle of the Sexes" in Rosemary R. Ruether, ed., Religion and Sexism: Images of Woman in the Jewish and Christian Traditions (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1974) p. 272.
83. Donald B. Kraybill, The riddle of the Amish Culture (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1989) p. 56.
84. Khalil Gibran, Thoughts and Meditations (New York: Bantam Books, 1960) p. 28.
85. The Times, Nov. 18, 1993.
1. The Globe and Mail, Oct. 4,1994.
2. Leonard J. Swidler, Women in Judaism: the Status of Women in Formative Judaism (Metuchen, N.J: Scarecrow Press, 1976) p. 115.
3. Thena Kendath, "Memories of an Orthodox youth" in Susannah Heschel, ed. On being a Jewish Feminist (New York: Schocken Books, 1983), pp. 96-97.
4. Swidler, op. cit., pp. 80-81.
5. Rosemary R. Ruether, "Christianity", in Arvind Sharma, ed., Women in World Religions (Albany: State University of New York Press, 1987) p. 209.
6. For all the sayings of the prominent Saints, see Karen Armstrong, The Gospel According to Woman (London: Elm Tree Books, 1986) pp. 52-62. See also Nancy van Vuuren, The Subversion of Women as Practiced by Churches, Witch-Hunters, and Other Sexists (Philadelphia: Westminister Press) pp. 28-30.
7. Swidler, op. cit., p. 140.
8. Denise L. Carmody, "Judaism", in Arvind Sharma, ed., op. cit., p. 197.
9. Swidler, op. cit., p. 137.
10. Ibid., p. 138.
11. Sally Priesand, Judaism and the New Woman (New York: Behrman House, Inc., 1975) p. 24.
12. Swidler, op. cit., p. 115.
13. Lesley Hazleton, Israeli Women The Reality Behind the Myths (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1977) p. 41.
14. Gage, op. cit. p. 142.
15. Jeffrey H. Togay, "Adultery," Encyclopaedia Judaica, Vol. II, col. 313. Also, see Judith Plaskow, Standing Again at Sinai: Judaism from a Feminist Perspective (New York: Harper & Row Publishers, 1990) pp. 170-177.
16. Hazleton, op. cit., pp. 41-42.
17. Swidler, op. cit., p. 141.
18. Matilda J. Gage, Woman, Church, and State (New York: Truth Seeker Company, 1893) p. 141.
19. Louis M. Epstein, The Jewish Marriage Contract (New York: Arno Press, 1973) p. 149.
20. Swidler, op. cit., p. 142.
21. Epstein, op. cit., pp. 164-165.
22. Ibid., pp. 112-113. See also Priesand, op. cit., p. 15.
23. James A. Brundage, Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe ( Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1987) p. 88.
24. Ibid., p. 480.
25. R. Thompson, Women in Stuart England and America (London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1974) p. 162.
26. Mary Murray, The Law of the Father (London: Routledge, 1995) p. 67.
27. Gage, op. cit., p. 143.
28. For example, see Jeffrey Lang, Struggling to Surrender, (Beltsville, MD: Amana Publications, 1994) p. 167.
29. Elsayyed Sabiq, Fiqh al Sunnah (Cairo: Darul Fatah lile'lam Al-Arabi, 11th edition, 1994), vol. 2, pp. 218-229.
30. Abdel-Haleem Abu Shuqqa, Tahreer al Mar'aa fi Asr al Risala (Kuwait: Dar al Qalam, 1990) pp. 109-112.
31. Leila Badawi, "Islam", in Jean Holm and John Bowker, ed., Women in Religion (London: Pinter Publishers, 1994) p. 102.
32. Amir H. Siddiqi, Studies in Islamic History (Karachi: Jamiyatul Falah Publications, 3rd edition, 1967) p. 138.
33. Epstein, op. cit., p. 196.
34. Swidler, op. cit., pp. 162-163.
35. The Toronto Star, Apr. 8, 1995.
36. Sabiq, op. cit., pp. 318-329. See also Muhammad al Ghazali, Qadaya al Mar'aa bin al Taqaleed al Rakida wal Wafida (Cairo: Dar al Shorooq, 4th edition, 1992) pp. 178-180.
37. Ibid., pp. 313-318.
38. David W. Amram, The Jewish Law of Divorce According to Bible and Talmud ( Philadelphia: Edward Stern & CO., Inc., 1896) pp. 125-126.
39. Epstein, op. cit., p. 219.
40. Ibid, pp 156-157.
41. Muhammad Abu Zahra, Usbu al Fiqh al Islami (Cairo: al Majlis al A'la li Ri'ayat al Funun, 1963) p. 66.
42. Epstein, op. cit., p. 122.
43. Armstrong, op. cit., p. 8.
44. Epstein, op. cit., p. 175.
45. Ibid., p. 121.
46. Gage, op. cit., p. 142.
47. B. Aisha Lemu and Fatima Heeren, Woman in Islam (London: Islamic Foundation, 1978) p. 23.
48. Hazleton, op. cit., pp. 45-46.
49. Ibid., p. 47.
50. Ibid., p. 49.
51. Swidler, op. cit., pp. 144-148.
52. Hazleton, op. cit., pp 44-45.
53. Eugene Hillman, Polygamy Reconsidered: African Plural Marriage and the Christian Churches (New York: Orbis Books, 1975) p. 140.
54. Ibid., p. 17.
55. Ibid., pp. 88-93.
56. Ibid., pp. 92-97.
57. Philip L. Kilbride, Plural Marriage For Our Times (Westport, Conn.: Bergin & Garvey, 1994) pp. 108-109.
58. The Weekly Review, Aug. 1, 1987.
59. Kilbride, op. cit., p. 126.
60. John D'Emilio and Estelle B. Freedman, Intimate Matters: A history of Sexuality in America (New York: Harper & Row Publishers, 1988) p. 87.
61. Ute Frevert, Women in German History: from Bourgeois Emancipation to Sexual Liberation (New York: Berg Publishers, 1988) pp. 263-264.
62. Ibid., pp. 257-258.
63. Sabiq, op. cit., p. 191.
64. Hillman, op. cit., p. 12.
65. Nathan Hare and Julie Hare, ed., Crisis in Black Sexual Politics (San Francisco: Black Think Tank, 1989) p. 25.
66. Ibid., p. 26.
67. Kilbride, op. cit., p. 94.
68. Ibid., p. 95.
69. Ibid.
70. Ibid., pp. 95-99.
71. Ibid., p. 118.
72. Lang, op. cit., p. 172.
73. Kilbride, op. cit., pp. 72-73.
74. Sabiq, op. cit., pp. 187-188.
75. Abdul Rahman Doi, Woman in Shari'ah (London: Ta-Ha Publishers, 1994) p. 76.
76. Menachem M. Brayer, The Jewish Woman in Rabbinic Literature: A Psychosocial Perspective (Hoboken, N.J: Ktav Publishing House, 1986) p. 239.
77. Ibid., pp. 316-317. Also see Swidler, op. cit., pp. 121-123.
78. Ibid., p. 139.
79. Susan W. Schneider, Jewish and Female (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1984) p. 237.
80. Ibid., pp. 238-239.
81. Alexandra Wright, "Judaism", in Holm and Bowker, ed., op. cit., pp. 128-129
82. Clara M. Henning, "Cannon Law and the Battle of the Sexes" in Rosemary R. Ruether, ed., Religion and Sexism: Images of Woman in the Jewish and Christian Traditions (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1974) p. 272.
83. Donald B. Kraybill, The riddle of the Amish Culture (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1989) p. 56.
84. Khalil Gibran, Thoughts and Meditations (New York: Bantam Books, 1960) p. 28.
85. The Times, Nov. 18, 1993.
EPILOGUE
EPILOGUE
The one question all the non-Muslims, who had read an earlier version of this study, had in common was: do Muslim women in the Muslim world today receive this noble treatment described here? The answer, unfortunately, is: No. Since this question is inevitable in any discussion concerning the status of women in Islam, we have to elaborate on the answer in order to provide the reader with the complete picture.
It has to be made clear first that the vast differences among Muslim societies make most generalizations too simplistic. There is a wide spectrum of attitudes towards women in the Muslim world today. These attitudes differ from one society to another and within each individual society. Nevertheless, certain general trends are discernible. Almost all Muslim societies have, to one degree or another, deviated from the ideals of Islam with respect to the status of women. These deviations have, for the most part, been in one of two opposite directions. The first direction is more conservative, restrictive, and traditions-oriented, while the second is more liberal and Western-oriented.
The societies that have digressed in the first direction treat women according to the customs and traditions inherited from their forebears. These traditions usually deprive women of many rights granted to them by Islam. Besides, women are treated according to standards far different from those applied to men. This discrimination pervades the life of any female: she is received with less joy at birth than a boy; she is less likely to go to school; she might be deprived any share of her family's inheritance; she is under continuous surveillance in order not to behave immodestly while her brother's immodest acts are tolerated; she might even be killed for committing what her male family members usually boast of doing; she has very little say in family affairs or community interests; she might not have full control over her property and her marriage gifts; and finally as a mother she herself would prefer to produce boys so that she can attain a higher status in her community.
On the other hand, there are Muslim societies (or certain classes within some societies) that have been swept over by the Western culture and way of life. These societies often imitate unthinkingly whatever they receive from the West and usually end up adopting the worst fruits of Western civilization. In these societies, a typical "modern" woman's top priority in life is to enhance her physical beauty. Therefore, she is often obsessed with her body's shape, size, and weight. She tends to care more about her body than her mind and more about her charms than her intellect. Her ability to charm, attract, and excite is more valued in the society than her educational achievements, intellectual pursuits, and social work. One is not expected to find a copy of the Quran in her purse since it is full of cosmetics that accompany her wherever she goes. Her spirituality has no room in a society preoccupied with her attractiveness. Therefore, she would spend her life striving more to realize her femininity than to fulfil her humanity.
Why did Muslim societies deviate from the ideals of Islam? There is no easy answer. A penetrating explanation of the reasons why Muslims have not adhered to the Quranic guidance with respect to women would be beyond the scope of this study. It has to be made clear, however, that Muslim societies have deviated from the Islamic precepts concerning so many aspects of their lives for so long. There is a wide gap between what Muslims are supposed to believe in and what they actually practice. This gap is not a recent phenomenon. It has been there for centuries and has been widening day after day. This ever widening gap has had disastrous consequences on the Muslim world manifested in almost all aspects of life: political tyranny and fragmentation, economic backwardness, social injustice, scientific bankruptcy, intellectual stagnation, etc. The non-Islamic status of women in the Muslim world today is merely a symptom of a deeper malady. Any reform in the current status of Muslim women is not expected to be fruitful if not accompanied with more comprehensive reforms of the Muslim societies' whole way of life. The Muslim world is in need for a renaissance that will bring it closer to the ideals of Islam and not further from them. To sum up, the notion that the poor status of Muslim women today is because of Islam is an utter misconception. The problems of Muslims in general are not due to too much attachment to Islam, they are the culmination of a long and deep detachment from it.
It has, also, to be re-emphasized that the purpose behind this comparative study is not, by any means, to defame Judaism or Christianity. The position of women in the Judaeo-Christian tradition might seem frightening by our late twentieth century standards. Nevertheless, it has to be viewed within the proper historical context. In other words, any objective assessment of the position of women in the Judaeo-Christian tradition has to take into account the historical circumstances in which this tradition developed. There can be no doubt that the views of the Rabbis and the Church Fathers regarding women were influenced by the prevalent attitudes towards women in their societies. The Bible itself was written by different authors at different times. These authors could not have been impervious to the values and the way of life of the people around them. For example, the adultery laws of the Old Testament are so biased against women that they defy rational explanation by our mentality. However, if we consider the fact that the early Jewish tribes were obsessed with their genetic homogeneity and extremely eager to define themselves apart from the surrounding tribes and that only sexual misconduct by the married females of the tribes could threaten these cherished aspirations, we should then be able to understand, but not necessarily sympathize with, the reasons for this bias.
Also, the diatribes of the Church Fathers against women should not be detached from the context of the misogynist Greco-Roman culture in which they lived. It would be unfair to evaluate the Judaeo-Christian legacy without giving any consideration to the relevant historical context.
In fact, a proper understanding of the Judaeo-Christian historical context is also crucial for understanding the significance of the contributions of Islam to world history and human civilization. The Judaeo-Christian tradition had been influenced and shaped by the environments, conditions, and cultures in which it had existed. By the seventh century C.E., this influence had distorted the original divine message revealed to Moses and Jesus beyond recognition. The poor status of women in the Judaeo-Christian world by the seventh century is just one case in point. Therefore, there was a great need for a new divine message that would guide humanity back to the straight path. The Quran described the mission of the new Messenger as a release for Jews and Christians from the heavy burdens that had been upon them: "Those who follow the Messenger, the unlettered Prophet, whom they find mentioned in their own Scriptures--In the Law and the Gospel-- For he commands them what is just and forbids them what is evil; he allows them as lawful what is good and prohibits them from what is bad; He releases them from their heavy burdens and from the yokes that are upon them" (Quran 7:157).
Therefore, Islam should not be viewed as a rival tradition to Judaism or Christianity. It has to be regarded as the consummation, completion, and perfection of the divine messages that had been revealed before it.
At the end of this study, I would like to offer the following advice to the global Muslim community. So many Muslim women have been denied their basic Islamic rights for so long. The mistakes of the past have to be corrected. To do that is not a favor, it is a duty incumbent upon all Muslims. The worldwide Muslim community have to issue a charter of Muslim women's rights based on the instructions of the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet of Islam. This charter must give Muslim women all the rights endowed to them by their Creator. Then, all the necessary means have to be developed in order to ensure the proper implementation of the charter. This charter is long overdue, but it is better late than never. If Muslims worldwide will not guarantee the full Islamic rights of their mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters, who else will ?
Furthermore, we must have the courage to confront our past and reject outright the traditions and customs of our forefathers whenever they contravene the precepts of Islam. Did the Quran not severely criticize the pagan Arabs for blindly following the traditions of their ancestors? On the other hand, we have to develop a critical attitude towards whatever we receive from the West or from any other culture. Interaction with and learning from other cultures is an invaluable experience. The Quran has succinctly considered this interaction as one of the purposes of creation: "O mankind We created you from a single pair of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other" (Quran 49:13). It goes without saying, however, that blind imitation of others is a sure sign of an utter lack of self-esteem.
It is to the non-Muslim reader, Jewish, Christian, or otherwise, that these final words are dedicated. It is bewildering why the religion that had revolutionized the status of women is being singled out and denigrated as so repressive of women. This perception about Islam is one of the most widespread myths in our world today. This myth is being perpetuated by a ceaseless barrage of sensational books, articles, media images, and Hollywood movies. The inevitable outcome of these incessant misleading images has been total misunderstanding and fear of anything related to Islam. This negative portrayal of Islam in the world media has to end if we are to live in a world free from all traces of discrimination, prejudice, and misunderstanding. Non-Muslims ought to realize the existence of a wide gap between Muslims' beliefs and practices and the simple fact that the actions of Muslims do not necessarily represent Islam. To label the status of women in the Muslim world today as "Islamic" is as far from the truth as labelling the position of women in the West today as "Judaeo-Christian". With this understanding in mind, Muslims and non-Muslims should start a process of communication and dialogue in order to remove all misconceptions, suspicions, and fears. A peaceful future for the human family necessitates such a dialogue.
Islam should be viewed as a religion that had immensely improved the status of women and had granted them many rights that the modern world has recognized only this century. Islam still has so much to offer today's woman: dignity, respect, and protection in all aspects and all stages of her life from birth until death in addition to the recognition, the balance, and means for the fulfilment of all her spiritual, intellectual, physical, and emotional needs. No wonder most of those who choose to become Muslims in a country like Britain are women. In the U.S. women converts to Islam outnumber male converts 4 to 1. 85 Islam has so much to offer our world which is in great need of moral guidance and leadership. Ambassador Herman Eilts, in a testimony in front of the committee on Foreign Affairs of the House of Representatives of the United States Congress on June 24th, 1985, said, "The Muslim community of the globe today is in the neighbourhood of one billion. That is an impressive figure. But what to me is equally impressive is that Islam today is the fastest growing monotheistic religion. This is something we have to take into account. Something is right about Islam. It is attracting a good many people." Yes, something is right about Islam and it is time to find that out. I hope this study is a step on this direction.
The one question all the non-Muslims, who had read an earlier version of this study, had in common was: do Muslim women in the Muslim world today receive this noble treatment described here? The answer, unfortunately, is: No. Since this question is inevitable in any discussion concerning the status of women in Islam, we have to elaborate on the answer in order to provide the reader with the complete picture.
It has to be made clear first that the vast differences among Muslim societies make most generalizations too simplistic. There is a wide spectrum of attitudes towards women in the Muslim world today. These attitudes differ from one society to another and within each individual society. Nevertheless, certain general trends are discernible. Almost all Muslim societies have, to one degree or another, deviated from the ideals of Islam with respect to the status of women. These deviations have, for the most part, been in one of two opposite directions. The first direction is more conservative, restrictive, and traditions-oriented, while the second is more liberal and Western-oriented.
The societies that have digressed in the first direction treat women according to the customs and traditions inherited from their forebears. These traditions usually deprive women of many rights granted to them by Islam. Besides, women are treated according to standards far different from those applied to men. This discrimination pervades the life of any female: she is received with less joy at birth than a boy; she is less likely to go to school; she might be deprived any share of her family's inheritance; she is under continuous surveillance in order not to behave immodestly while her brother's immodest acts are tolerated; she might even be killed for committing what her male family members usually boast of doing; she has very little say in family affairs or community interests; she might not have full control over her property and her marriage gifts; and finally as a mother she herself would prefer to produce boys so that she can attain a higher status in her community.
On the other hand, there are Muslim societies (or certain classes within some societies) that have been swept over by the Western culture and way of life. These societies often imitate unthinkingly whatever they receive from the West and usually end up adopting the worst fruits of Western civilization. In these societies, a typical "modern" woman's top priority in life is to enhance her physical beauty. Therefore, she is often obsessed with her body's shape, size, and weight. She tends to care more about her body than her mind and more about her charms than her intellect. Her ability to charm, attract, and excite is more valued in the society than her educational achievements, intellectual pursuits, and social work. One is not expected to find a copy of the Quran in her purse since it is full of cosmetics that accompany her wherever she goes. Her spirituality has no room in a society preoccupied with her attractiveness. Therefore, she would spend her life striving more to realize her femininity than to fulfil her humanity.
Why did Muslim societies deviate from the ideals of Islam? There is no easy answer. A penetrating explanation of the reasons why Muslims have not adhered to the Quranic guidance with respect to women would be beyond the scope of this study. It has to be made clear, however, that Muslim societies have deviated from the Islamic precepts concerning so many aspects of their lives for so long. There is a wide gap between what Muslims are supposed to believe in and what they actually practice. This gap is not a recent phenomenon. It has been there for centuries and has been widening day after day. This ever widening gap has had disastrous consequences on the Muslim world manifested in almost all aspects of life: political tyranny and fragmentation, economic backwardness, social injustice, scientific bankruptcy, intellectual stagnation, etc. The non-Islamic status of women in the Muslim world today is merely a symptom of a deeper malady. Any reform in the current status of Muslim women is not expected to be fruitful if not accompanied with more comprehensive reforms of the Muslim societies' whole way of life. The Muslim world is in need for a renaissance that will bring it closer to the ideals of Islam and not further from them. To sum up, the notion that the poor status of Muslim women today is because of Islam is an utter misconception. The problems of Muslims in general are not due to too much attachment to Islam, they are the culmination of a long and deep detachment from it.
It has, also, to be re-emphasized that the purpose behind this comparative study is not, by any means, to defame Judaism or Christianity. The position of women in the Judaeo-Christian tradition might seem frightening by our late twentieth century standards. Nevertheless, it has to be viewed within the proper historical context. In other words, any objective assessment of the position of women in the Judaeo-Christian tradition has to take into account the historical circumstances in which this tradition developed. There can be no doubt that the views of the Rabbis and the Church Fathers regarding women were influenced by the prevalent attitudes towards women in their societies. The Bible itself was written by different authors at different times. These authors could not have been impervious to the values and the way of life of the people around them. For example, the adultery laws of the Old Testament are so biased against women that they defy rational explanation by our mentality. However, if we consider the fact that the early Jewish tribes were obsessed with their genetic homogeneity and extremely eager to define themselves apart from the surrounding tribes and that only sexual misconduct by the married females of the tribes could threaten these cherished aspirations, we should then be able to understand, but not necessarily sympathize with, the reasons for this bias.
Also, the diatribes of the Church Fathers against women should not be detached from the context of the misogynist Greco-Roman culture in which they lived. It would be unfair to evaluate the Judaeo-Christian legacy without giving any consideration to the relevant historical context.
In fact, a proper understanding of the Judaeo-Christian historical context is also crucial for understanding the significance of the contributions of Islam to world history and human civilization. The Judaeo-Christian tradition had been influenced and shaped by the environments, conditions, and cultures in which it had existed. By the seventh century C.E., this influence had distorted the original divine message revealed to Moses and Jesus beyond recognition. The poor status of women in the Judaeo-Christian world by the seventh century is just one case in point. Therefore, there was a great need for a new divine message that would guide humanity back to the straight path. The Quran described the mission of the new Messenger as a release for Jews and Christians from the heavy burdens that had been upon them: "Those who follow the Messenger, the unlettered Prophet, whom they find mentioned in their own Scriptures--In the Law and the Gospel-- For he commands them what is just and forbids them what is evil; he allows them as lawful what is good and prohibits them from what is bad; He releases them from their heavy burdens and from the yokes that are upon them" (Quran 7:157).
Therefore, Islam should not be viewed as a rival tradition to Judaism or Christianity. It has to be regarded as the consummation, completion, and perfection of the divine messages that had been revealed before it.
At the end of this study, I would like to offer the following advice to the global Muslim community. So many Muslim women have been denied their basic Islamic rights for so long. The mistakes of the past have to be corrected. To do that is not a favor, it is a duty incumbent upon all Muslims. The worldwide Muslim community have to issue a charter of Muslim women's rights based on the instructions of the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet of Islam. This charter must give Muslim women all the rights endowed to them by their Creator. Then, all the necessary means have to be developed in order to ensure the proper implementation of the charter. This charter is long overdue, but it is better late than never. If Muslims worldwide will not guarantee the full Islamic rights of their mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters, who else will ?
Furthermore, we must have the courage to confront our past and reject outright the traditions and customs of our forefathers whenever they contravene the precepts of Islam. Did the Quran not severely criticize the pagan Arabs for blindly following the traditions of their ancestors? On the other hand, we have to develop a critical attitude towards whatever we receive from the West or from any other culture. Interaction with and learning from other cultures is an invaluable experience. The Quran has succinctly considered this interaction as one of the purposes of creation: "O mankind We created you from a single pair of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other" (Quran 49:13). It goes without saying, however, that blind imitation of others is a sure sign of an utter lack of self-esteem.
It is to the non-Muslim reader, Jewish, Christian, or otherwise, that these final words are dedicated. It is bewildering why the religion that had revolutionized the status of women is being singled out and denigrated as so repressive of women. This perception about Islam is one of the most widespread myths in our world today. This myth is being perpetuated by a ceaseless barrage of sensational books, articles, media images, and Hollywood movies. The inevitable outcome of these incessant misleading images has been total misunderstanding and fear of anything related to Islam. This negative portrayal of Islam in the world media has to end if we are to live in a world free from all traces of discrimination, prejudice, and misunderstanding. Non-Muslims ought to realize the existence of a wide gap between Muslims' beliefs and practices and the simple fact that the actions of Muslims do not necessarily represent Islam. To label the status of women in the Muslim world today as "Islamic" is as far from the truth as labelling the position of women in the West today as "Judaeo-Christian". With this understanding in mind, Muslims and non-Muslims should start a process of communication and dialogue in order to remove all misconceptions, suspicions, and fears. A peaceful future for the human family necessitates such a dialogue.
Islam should be viewed as a religion that had immensely improved the status of women and had granted them many rights that the modern world has recognized only this century. Islam still has so much to offer today's woman: dignity, respect, and protection in all aspects and all stages of her life from birth until death in addition to the recognition, the balance, and means for the fulfilment of all her spiritual, intellectual, physical, and emotional needs. No wonder most of those who choose to become Muslims in a country like Britain are women. In the U.S. women converts to Islam outnumber male converts 4 to 1. 85 Islam has so much to offer our world which is in great need of moral guidance and leadership. Ambassador Herman Eilts, in a testimony in front of the committee on Foreign Affairs of the House of Representatives of the United States Congress on June 24th, 1985, said, "The Muslim community of the globe today is in the neighbourhood of one billion. That is an impressive figure. But what to me is equally impressive is that Islam today is the fastest growing monotheistic religion. This is something we have to take into account. Something is right about Islam. It is attracting a good many people." Yes, something is right about Islam and it is time to find that out. I hope this study is a step on this direction.
THE VEIL ?
THE VEIL ?
Finally, let us shed some light on what is considered in the West as the greatest symbol of women's oppression and servitude, the veil or the head cover. Is it true that there is no such thing as the veil in the Judaeo-Christian tradition? Let us set the record straight. According to Rabbi Dr. Menachem M. Brayer (Professor of Biblical Literature at Yeshiva University) in his book, The Jewish woman in Rabbinic literature, it was the custom of Jewish women to go out in public with a head covering which, sometimes, even covered the whole face leaving one eye free. 76 He quotes some famous ancient Rabbis saying, "It is not like the daughters of Israel to walk out with heads uncovered" and "Cursed be the man who lets the hair of his wife be seen....a woman who exposes her hair for self-adornment brings poverty." Rabbinic law forbids the recitation of blessings or prayers in the presence of a bareheaded married woman since uncovering the woman's hair is considered "nudity". 77 Dr. Brayer also mentions that "During the Tannaitic period the Jewish woman's failure to cover her head was considered an affront to her modesty. When her head was uncovered she might be fined four hundred zuzim for this offense." Dr. Brayer also explains that veil of the Jewish woman was not always considered a sign of modesty. Sometimes, the veil symbolized a state of distinction and luxury rather than modesty. The veil personified the dignity and superiority of noble women. It also represented a woman's inaccessibility as a sanctified possession of her husband. 78
The veil signified a woman's self-respect and social status. Women of lower classes would often wear the veil to give the impression of a higher standing. The fact that the veil was the sign of nobility was the reason why prostitutes were not permitted to cover their hair in the old Jewish society. However, prostitutes often wore a special headscarf in order to look respectable. 79 Jewish women in Europe continued to wear veils until the nineteenth century when their lives became more intermingled with the surrounding secular culture. The external pressures of the European life in the nineteenth century forced many of them to go out bare-headed. Some Jewish women found it more convenient to replace their traditional veil with a wig as another form of hair covering. Today, most pious Jewish women do not cover their hair except in the synagogue. 80 Some of them, such as the Hasidic sects, still use the wig. 81
What about the Christian tradition? It is well known that Catholic Nuns have been covering their heads for hundreds of years, but that is not all. St. Paul in the New Testament made some very interesting statements about the veil:
"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonours his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonours her head - it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head" (I Corinthians 11:3-10).
St. Paul's rationale for veiling women is that the veil represents a sign of the authority of the man, who is the image and glory of God, over the woman who was created from and for man. St. Tertullian in his famous treatise 'On The Veiling Of Virgins' wrote, "Young women, you wear your veils out on the streets, so you should wear them in the church, you wear them when you are among strangers, then wear them among your brothers..." Among the Canon laws of the Catholic church today, there is a law that requires women to cover their heads in church. 82 Some Christian denominations, such as the Amish and the Mennonites for example, keep their women veiled to the present day. The reason for the veil, as offered by their Church leaders, is that "The head covering is a symbol of woman's subjection to the man and to God", which is the same logic introduced by St. Paul in the New Testament. 83
From all the above evidence, it is obvious that Islam did not invent the head cover. However, Islam did endorse it. The Quran urges the believing men and women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty and then urges the believing women to extend their head covers to cover the neck and the bosom:
"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty......And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms...." (Quran 24:30,31).
The Quran is quite clear that the veil is essential for modesty, but why is modesty important? The Quran is still clear:
"O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women that they should cast their outer garments over their bodies (when abroad) so that they should be known and not molested" (Quran 33:59).
This is the whole point, modesty is prescribed to protect women from molestation or simply, modesty is protection. Thus, the only purpose of the veil in Islam is protection. The Islamic veil, unlike the veil of the Christian tradition, is not a sign of man's authority over woman nor is it a sign of woman's subjection to man. The Islamic veil, unlike the veil in the Jewish tradition, is not a sign of luxury and distinction of some noble married women. The Islamic veil is only a sign of modesty with the purpose of protecting women, all women. The Islamic philosophy is that it is always better to be safe than sorry. In fact, the Quran is so concerned with protecting women's bodies and women's reputation that a man who dares to falsely accuse a woman of unchastity will be severely punished:
"And those who launch a charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations)- Flog them with eighty stripes; and reject their evidence ever after: for such men are wicked transgressors" (Quran 24:4)
Compare this strict Quranic attitude with the extremely lax punishment for rape in the Bible:
" If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives" (Deut. 22:28-30)
One must ask a simple question here, who is really punished? The man who only paid a fine for rape, or the girl who is forced to marry the man who raped her and live with him until he dies? Another question that also should be asked is this: which is more protective of women, the Quranic strict attitude or the Biblical lax attitude?
Some people, especially in the West, would tend to ridicule the whole argument of modesty for protection. Their argument is that the best protection is the spread of education, civilised behaviour, and self restraint. We would say: fine but not enough. If 'civilization' is enough protection, then why is it that women in North America dare not walk alone in a dark street - or even across an empty parking lot ? If Education is the solution, then why is it that a respected university like Queen's has a 'walk home service' mainly for female students on campus? If self restraint is the answer, then why are cases of sexual harassment in the workplace reported on the news media every day? A sample of those accused of sexual harassment, in the last few years, includes: Navy officers, Managers, University professors, Senators, Supreme Court Justices, and the President of the United States! I could not believe my eyes when I read the following statistics, written in a pamphlet issued by the Dean of Women's office at Queen's University:
In Canada, a woman is sexually assaulted every 6 minutes,
1 in 3 women in Canada will be sexually assaulted at some time in their lives,
1 in 4 women are at the risk of rape or attempted rape in her lifetime,
1 in 8 women will be sexually assaulted while attending college or university, and
A study found 60% of Canadian university-aged males said they would commit sexual assault if they were certain they wouldn't get caught.
Something is fundamentally wrong in the society we live in. A radical change in the society's life style and culture is absolutely necessary. A culture of modesty is badly needed, modesty in dress, in speech, and in manners of both men and women. Otherwise, the grim statistics will grow even worse day after day and, unfortunately, women alone will be paying the price. Actually, we all suffer but as K. Gibran has said, "...for the person who receives the blows is not like the one who counts them." 84 Therefore, a society like France which expels young women from schools because of their modest dress is, in the end, simply harming itself.
It is one of the great ironies of our world today that the very same headscarf revered as a sign of 'holiness' when worn for the purpose of showing the authority of man by Catholic Nuns, is reviled as a sign of 'oppression' when worn for the purpose of protection by Muslim women.
Finally, let us shed some light on what is considered in the West as the greatest symbol of women's oppression and servitude, the veil or the head cover. Is it true that there is no such thing as the veil in the Judaeo-Christian tradition? Let us set the record straight. According to Rabbi Dr. Menachem M. Brayer (Professor of Biblical Literature at Yeshiva University) in his book, The Jewish woman in Rabbinic literature, it was the custom of Jewish women to go out in public with a head covering which, sometimes, even covered the whole face leaving one eye free. 76 He quotes some famous ancient Rabbis saying, "It is not like the daughters of Israel to walk out with heads uncovered" and "Cursed be the man who lets the hair of his wife be seen....a woman who exposes her hair for self-adornment brings poverty." Rabbinic law forbids the recitation of blessings or prayers in the presence of a bareheaded married woman since uncovering the woman's hair is considered "nudity". 77 Dr. Brayer also mentions that "During the Tannaitic period the Jewish woman's failure to cover her head was considered an affront to her modesty. When her head was uncovered she might be fined four hundred zuzim for this offense." Dr. Brayer also explains that veil of the Jewish woman was not always considered a sign of modesty. Sometimes, the veil symbolized a state of distinction and luxury rather than modesty. The veil personified the dignity and superiority of noble women. It also represented a woman's inaccessibility as a sanctified possession of her husband. 78
The veil signified a woman's self-respect and social status. Women of lower classes would often wear the veil to give the impression of a higher standing. The fact that the veil was the sign of nobility was the reason why prostitutes were not permitted to cover their hair in the old Jewish society. However, prostitutes often wore a special headscarf in order to look respectable. 79 Jewish women in Europe continued to wear veils until the nineteenth century when their lives became more intermingled with the surrounding secular culture. The external pressures of the European life in the nineteenth century forced many of them to go out bare-headed. Some Jewish women found it more convenient to replace their traditional veil with a wig as another form of hair covering. Today, most pious Jewish women do not cover their hair except in the synagogue. 80 Some of them, such as the Hasidic sects, still use the wig. 81
What about the Christian tradition? It is well known that Catholic Nuns have been covering their heads for hundreds of years, but that is not all. St. Paul in the New Testament made some very interesting statements about the veil:
"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonours his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonours her head - it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head" (I Corinthians 11:3-10).
St. Paul's rationale for veiling women is that the veil represents a sign of the authority of the man, who is the image and glory of God, over the woman who was created from and for man. St. Tertullian in his famous treatise 'On The Veiling Of Virgins' wrote, "Young women, you wear your veils out on the streets, so you should wear them in the church, you wear them when you are among strangers, then wear them among your brothers..." Among the Canon laws of the Catholic church today, there is a law that requires women to cover their heads in church. 82 Some Christian denominations, such as the Amish and the Mennonites for example, keep their women veiled to the present day. The reason for the veil, as offered by their Church leaders, is that "The head covering is a symbol of woman's subjection to the man and to God", which is the same logic introduced by St. Paul in the New Testament. 83
From all the above evidence, it is obvious that Islam did not invent the head cover. However, Islam did endorse it. The Quran urges the believing men and women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty and then urges the believing women to extend their head covers to cover the neck and the bosom:
"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty......And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms...." (Quran 24:30,31).
The Quran is quite clear that the veil is essential for modesty, but why is modesty important? The Quran is still clear:
"O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women that they should cast their outer garments over their bodies (when abroad) so that they should be known and not molested" (Quran 33:59).
This is the whole point, modesty is prescribed to protect women from molestation or simply, modesty is protection. Thus, the only purpose of the veil in Islam is protection. The Islamic veil, unlike the veil of the Christian tradition, is not a sign of man's authority over woman nor is it a sign of woman's subjection to man. The Islamic veil, unlike the veil in the Jewish tradition, is not a sign of luxury and distinction of some noble married women. The Islamic veil is only a sign of modesty with the purpose of protecting women, all women. The Islamic philosophy is that it is always better to be safe than sorry. In fact, the Quran is so concerned with protecting women's bodies and women's reputation that a man who dares to falsely accuse a woman of unchastity will be severely punished:
"And those who launch a charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations)- Flog them with eighty stripes; and reject their evidence ever after: for such men are wicked transgressors" (Quran 24:4)
Compare this strict Quranic attitude with the extremely lax punishment for rape in the Bible:
" If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives" (Deut. 22:28-30)
One must ask a simple question here, who is really punished? The man who only paid a fine for rape, or the girl who is forced to marry the man who raped her and live with him until he dies? Another question that also should be asked is this: which is more protective of women, the Quranic strict attitude or the Biblical lax attitude?
Some people, especially in the West, would tend to ridicule the whole argument of modesty for protection. Their argument is that the best protection is the spread of education, civilised behaviour, and self restraint. We would say: fine but not enough. If 'civilization' is enough protection, then why is it that women in North America dare not walk alone in a dark street - or even across an empty parking lot ? If Education is the solution, then why is it that a respected university like Queen's has a 'walk home service' mainly for female students on campus? If self restraint is the answer, then why are cases of sexual harassment in the workplace reported on the news media every day? A sample of those accused of sexual harassment, in the last few years, includes: Navy officers, Managers, University professors, Senators, Supreme Court Justices, and the President of the United States! I could not believe my eyes when I read the following statistics, written in a pamphlet issued by the Dean of Women's office at Queen's University:
In Canada, a woman is sexually assaulted every 6 minutes,
1 in 3 women in Canada will be sexually assaulted at some time in their lives,
1 in 4 women are at the risk of rape or attempted rape in her lifetime,
1 in 8 women will be sexually assaulted while attending college or university, and
A study found 60% of Canadian university-aged males said they would commit sexual assault if they were certain they wouldn't get caught.
Something is fundamentally wrong in the society we live in. A radical change in the society's life style and culture is absolutely necessary. A culture of modesty is badly needed, modesty in dress, in speech, and in manners of both men and women. Otherwise, the grim statistics will grow even worse day after day and, unfortunately, women alone will be paying the price. Actually, we all suffer but as K. Gibran has said, "...for the person who receives the blows is not like the one who counts them." 84 Therefore, a society like France which expels young women from schools because of their modest dress is, in the end, simply harming itself.
It is one of the great ironies of our world today that the very same headscarf revered as a sign of 'holiness' when worn for the purpose of showing the authority of man by Catholic Nuns, is reviled as a sign of 'oppression' when worn for the purpose of protection by Muslim women.
Friday, 4 March 2011
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Sunday, 27 February 2011
Your second marriage and wedding
The decision of a second marriage is usually a lot harder to take than it was your first one. You are older, wiser, more life experienced, but at the same time afraid that this marriage can also go wrong. The first thing to do is lay the past to rest. And then have faith in your future. A second marriage is the beginning of a new life for you and your husband. So you have to start it right. Here are some tips that may help you.
1. Don't compare with your last wedding.
2. If you want a religious ceremony see what it is required: if you belong to the Roman Catholic you will need an annulment; if you are Est Europa Orthodox you just talk with the priest (the church allows a second religious ceremonial for those who are divorced); if you are Episcopalian you will need the bishop's permission to remarry; if you are Conservative or Orthodox Jewish, you will need to receive a Get (Jewish divorce) from your ex-husband.
4. Decide if you want a large or a small reception. The etiquette says that for the second marriage the bride should have a shorter veil (or none) and the gown should not be full length. Also the confetti/rice traditions are improper. The same goes for throwing the garter or the bouquet. But if you want to have all these things, nothing should stop you. It is your decision.
5. Write carefully the guests list. Some of them were at your first wedding too and maybe they won't come. But most of them will send presents as a sign of approval of the new wedding. Usually it's better to leave the ex spouse and ex parents in law out. But if you've remained in good terms you may invite them as well.
6. Pay attention to the children. Announce them as soon as possible. Don't let them hear from someone else but you. They may reject the idea of the second marriage and you have to be very diplomatic in treating the issue. If they are happy for you, you may give them responsibilities according to the age (flower girl, ring bearer, best man, bridesmaid) so they feel welcome in the new formed family.
7. Usually the second wedding is paid entirely by the couple. So you have to be very careful about the budget. But if the parents want to help, let them. After all, they are your parents and they want you to be happy.
8. Wit it being the second marriage some legal issues may be required (especially if there are children involved). Talk to your lawyer about them.
9. You may want a honeymoon. Don't go to a location that brings you old memories. Use the time to create new memories.
And most importantly: don't be ashamed to show the world that you are once again in love. You deserve to be happy.
1. Don't compare with your last wedding.
2. If you want a religious ceremony see what it is required: if you belong to the Roman Catholic you will need an annulment; if you are Est Europa Orthodox you just talk with the priest (the church allows a second religious ceremonial for those who are divorced); if you are Episcopalian you will need the bishop's permission to remarry; if you are Conservative or Orthodox Jewish, you will need to receive a Get (Jewish divorce) from your ex-husband.
4. Decide if you want a large or a small reception. The etiquette says that for the second marriage the bride should have a shorter veil (or none) and the gown should not be full length. Also the confetti/rice traditions are improper. The same goes for throwing the garter or the bouquet. But if you want to have all these things, nothing should stop you. It is your decision.
5. Write carefully the guests list. Some of them were at your first wedding too and maybe they won't come. But most of them will send presents as a sign of approval of the new wedding. Usually it's better to leave the ex spouse and ex parents in law out. But if you've remained in good terms you may invite them as well.
6. Pay attention to the children. Announce them as soon as possible. Don't let them hear from someone else but you. They may reject the idea of the second marriage and you have to be very diplomatic in treating the issue. If they are happy for you, you may give them responsibilities according to the age (flower girl, ring bearer, best man, bridesmaid) so they feel welcome in the new formed family.
7. Usually the second wedding is paid entirely by the couple. So you have to be very careful about the budget. But if the parents want to help, let them. After all, they are your parents and they want you to be happy.
8. Wit it being the second marriage some legal issues may be required (especially if there are children involved). Talk to your lawyer about them.
9. You may want a honeymoon. Don't go to a location that brings you old memories. Use the time to create new memories.
And most importantly: don't be ashamed to show the world that you are once again in love. You deserve to be happy.
Tips for Creating Successful Second Marriages
Second marriages can take more work in order to succeed, but they can be successful. Whether your first marriage ended because of a death or due to a divorce, it is possible to move on from the experience and use it as a learning tool in your next marriage. Sometimes, second marriages can be even more successful than first marriages because both parties have more experience to know what they are looking for in a lifelong partner. That doesn’t mean that second marriages will always be easy and without their problems. With a few helpful tips, you can make your second marriage a success in the wake of a failed relationship in the past.
Recognize the reasons your first marriage failed.
One of the best ways to help ensure that your second marriage will be a success is to take an honest look at the reasons the first one failed. If you are honest with yourself, you can take a step back from your personal feelings and identify the problems that both parties contributed to the divorce. While many times a divorce might be the cause of one partner’s indiscretion or another major flaw, most divorces are the result of a buildup of bad feelings toward each other based on small and petty reasons.
Build a bridge and then get over it.
Second marriages are doomed to fail if one of the partners cannot get over his or her first marriage. If one person brings their baggage from their first marriage into the second marriage, there is no reason even to go through with the second one.
Your new partner is an entirely new person from the one you had during your first marriage. If you continue to expect him to let you down or behave the way your first husband did, you will find ways in which he actually does so. Before even considering a second marriage, make sure you can let go of the hurt feelings and the ill-will that you are holding onto from your first marriage. Carrying these feelings into second marriages (or even another relationship for that matter) can be detrimental to your interactions with your new partner.
If, however, your first marriage ended as the result of a husband’s premature death, make sure that you have given yourself enough time to get over the pain and hurt associated with losing a loved one. Your new partner will never compare to your first husband so trying to replace your first husband is neither healthy nor productive. If you can’t separate your new relationship from the relationship you had with your first husband, you will not be able to have a healthy second marriage.
Children pose an entirely different situation.
Getting married for a second time is difficult enough if you did not have children during that time. You can base your decision solely on your own discretion without needing to be concerned about the impact it will have on your children. If your first marriage resulted in kids, however, it might be much more difficult to transition into a second marriage.
Whether your first marriage ended in divorce or death, some children might feel as though you are trying to replace their father or mother. You can get through this problem successfully, though. Many times, just sitting down with your children and having a conversation with them about your intentions will help them see the situation from your perspective. If you listen to their concerns and answer their questions, you might be surprised at what they are thinking. Simple communication is often the best tool to come to an understanding so that you can each see the other’s perspective. Reassure them that your new partner has become important to you and your happiness.
If this doesn’t help, try to get your new partner to talk to your children with you. If he makes an honest effort to be friends with your children, it might make the situation better and less volatile. Be sure that his actions match his words, too. Instead of just saying that they want to befriend your children, showing them would be much more effective. The children might not see him as an intruder into the family, but rather a welcome new member. Try to explain that the new partner is not a replacement for the former husband and that he are merely trying to enter the family as a loving addition rather than a replacement.
Other times, though, your children might be unreceptive of the idea of a second marriage no matter what you do. In these cases, the best thing you can do is make the best possible decision and hope your children will eventually understand.
Discuss your finances beforehand.
Many people getting involved in second marriages are older than the ones getting married for the first time. As a result, these people might already have an established way of handling their finances in addition to their own resources. Similarly, each partner brings into the second marriage his or her individual debts. If you don’t have a financial plan when you get married the second time, it should be a major topic of discussion before you have the wedding. Arguing over money is one of the main reasons for divorce. In fact, it may have even been the reason for your first marriage being unsuccessful. Both partners should come to an understanding concerning the way to handle the combined finances before you say, “I do” for the second time.
Dealing with the ex-husband.
From trying to decide if you should invite your ex-husband to your second wedding to the troubles of parental rights, the former spouse can pose a great deal of problems for your second marriage. Since you did not have a successful relationship with him to begin with, chances are that you will still have a less than amicable relationship following the divorce. Hopefully, though, you can have a civil relationship. This is simply out of consideration for others that you will need to interact with in the future.
If you have children with him, for instance, try to have a friendly relationship for the sake of your children. If you have mutual friends, try to be civil so your friends don’t feel awkward in social situations in which both of you are involved.
Respecting a deceased spouse.
If you get involved with a man who has lost his wife, try to be respectful of her memory. Reassure him and his children that you do not want to take his deceased wife’s place. On the other hand, he should not constantly bring up his deceased wife in such a way that you feel like you are being compared to her. With all of the issues in a second marriage, trying to be respectful of a dead spouse’s memory can be the most sensitive issue and it can be a difficult task to manage.
There are many issues to deal with in the event of a second marriage. A first marriage is difficult enough to manage, but second marriages have many issues that are more complicated and relationships that need to be dealt with to make the relationship successful. Ideally, you can find a partner that is willing to go through these issues with you and is willing to support you the entire way.
Does Your Marriage Need a Little Extra Spice?
Sexy or sex-starved - which describes your marriage best? If you didn't hesitate to answer the latter, your marriage is in need of some serious TLC - and we're talking tender loving care of the spicy variety. Take this steamy quiz to find out just how adventurous or bland your sex life may really be.
Recognize the reasons your first marriage failed.
One of the best ways to help ensure that your second marriage will be a success is to take an honest look at the reasons the first one failed. If you are honest with yourself, you can take a step back from your personal feelings and identify the problems that both parties contributed to the divorce. While many times a divorce might be the cause of one partner’s indiscretion or another major flaw, most divorces are the result of a buildup of bad feelings toward each other based on small and petty reasons.
Build a bridge and then get over it.
Second marriages are doomed to fail if one of the partners cannot get over his or her first marriage. If one person brings their baggage from their first marriage into the second marriage, there is no reason even to go through with the second one.
Your new partner is an entirely new person from the one you had during your first marriage. If you continue to expect him to let you down or behave the way your first husband did, you will find ways in which he actually does so. Before even considering a second marriage, make sure you can let go of the hurt feelings and the ill-will that you are holding onto from your first marriage. Carrying these feelings into second marriages (or even another relationship for that matter) can be detrimental to your interactions with your new partner.
If, however, your first marriage ended as the result of a husband’s premature death, make sure that you have given yourself enough time to get over the pain and hurt associated with losing a loved one. Your new partner will never compare to your first husband so trying to replace your first husband is neither healthy nor productive. If you can’t separate your new relationship from the relationship you had with your first husband, you will not be able to have a healthy second marriage.
Children pose an entirely different situation.
Getting married for a second time is difficult enough if you did not have children during that time. You can base your decision solely on your own discretion without needing to be concerned about the impact it will have on your children. If your first marriage resulted in kids, however, it might be much more difficult to transition into a second marriage.
Whether your first marriage ended in divorce or death, some children might feel as though you are trying to replace their father or mother. You can get through this problem successfully, though. Many times, just sitting down with your children and having a conversation with them about your intentions will help them see the situation from your perspective. If you listen to their concerns and answer their questions, you might be surprised at what they are thinking. Simple communication is often the best tool to come to an understanding so that you can each see the other’s perspective. Reassure them that your new partner has become important to you and your happiness.
If this doesn’t help, try to get your new partner to talk to your children with you. If he makes an honest effort to be friends with your children, it might make the situation better and less volatile. Be sure that his actions match his words, too. Instead of just saying that they want to befriend your children, showing them would be much more effective. The children might not see him as an intruder into the family, but rather a welcome new member. Try to explain that the new partner is not a replacement for the former husband and that he are merely trying to enter the family as a loving addition rather than a replacement.
Other times, though, your children might be unreceptive of the idea of a second marriage no matter what you do. In these cases, the best thing you can do is make the best possible decision and hope your children will eventually understand.
Discuss your finances beforehand.
Many people getting involved in second marriages are older than the ones getting married for the first time. As a result, these people might already have an established way of handling their finances in addition to their own resources. Similarly, each partner brings into the second marriage his or her individual debts. If you don’t have a financial plan when you get married the second time, it should be a major topic of discussion before you have the wedding. Arguing over money is one of the main reasons for divorce. In fact, it may have even been the reason for your first marriage being unsuccessful. Both partners should come to an understanding concerning the way to handle the combined finances before you say, “I do” for the second time.
Dealing with the ex-husband.
From trying to decide if you should invite your ex-husband to your second wedding to the troubles of parental rights, the former spouse can pose a great deal of problems for your second marriage. Since you did not have a successful relationship with him to begin with, chances are that you will still have a less than amicable relationship following the divorce. Hopefully, though, you can have a civil relationship. This is simply out of consideration for others that you will need to interact with in the future.
If you have children with him, for instance, try to have a friendly relationship for the sake of your children. If you have mutual friends, try to be civil so your friends don’t feel awkward in social situations in which both of you are involved.
Respecting a deceased spouse.
If you get involved with a man who has lost his wife, try to be respectful of her memory. Reassure him and his children that you do not want to take his deceased wife’s place. On the other hand, he should not constantly bring up his deceased wife in such a way that you feel like you are being compared to her. With all of the issues in a second marriage, trying to be respectful of a dead spouse’s memory can be the most sensitive issue and it can be a difficult task to manage.
There are many issues to deal with in the event of a second marriage. A first marriage is difficult enough to manage, but second marriages have many issues that are more complicated and relationships that need to be dealt with to make the relationship successful. Ideally, you can find a partner that is willing to go through these issues with you and is willing to support you the entire way.
Does Your Marriage Need a Little Extra Spice?
Sexy or sex-starved - which describes your marriage best? If you didn't hesitate to answer the latter, your marriage is in need of some serious TLC - and we're talking tender loving care of the spicy variety. Take this steamy quiz to find out just how adventurous or bland your sex life may really be.
How to Help Your Child Accept a Second Marriage
On announcing your forthcoming second marriage, your 6 to 11 year old child has reacted negatively - what should you as a mother do to make it easier? When you're faced with your child's pain and anger during a time of your happiness, it can be a turbulent time. This article presents some ways to help your child come to terms to the new arrangements and learn to accept your impending blended family.
Reassure your child. Even if your child gets along well with your fiancé, remarriage often revives the pain of divorce. Also, through loyalty or fear of betraying his father, your child might want to refuse to participate or help. It is important to reassure him, to tell him that you understand and respect his decision. Prepare him for a solution that lets him off the hook; such as going to his father's place or a friend's place during the wedding. He mustn't feel abandoned but it's important that his refusal to attend won't influence your decision to go ahead. Whatever happens, your marriage will occur because it's a matter for the grown-ups to make decisions about their own lives.
Understand her worries. She may be afraid that perhaps she'll be called upon to move, to share her room with a half or step-sibling. She may be worried about what will happen to her daily play routine, vacation plans and general activities. On the other hand, it may well be that a new marriage will bring about an ease in financial constraints so it is important to be honest and explain how change is always hard for everyone but that there will be some very good changes that come out of the new family situation. Point out how there will be easier ways to do things with more people on board to help out. It is important to be frank, because she will feel betrayed if you try to gloss over the challenges. Reassure her that despite the changes, her relationship with both her parents remains one of love, support and respect for her. And let her know that despite the new marriage, you will be still be there for her, together planning the future, with her as she grows up and supporting one another.
Make it clear that love between adults is not something a child can change. Gently help him to understand that whilst he can manage his toys, homework and choice of clothes, he cannot influence his parent's love life, whether it be divorce or remarriage. In discussing this, never use negative words about him - a child all too easily assumes responsibility for the single parent and can feel a sense of personal blame. Ensure that he does not have any such negative feelings and reassure him that when it comes to affairs of the heart, feelings and love, much cannot be explained and that things just "are". Tell him also that the joy of one person does not equate with the sadness of another - there is room for all the family to feel joy at the coming marriage.
Approach new names with great care. Unless there are very good reasons, it is not a good idea to change a child's last name; it is a threatening challenge to both her personal identity and her connection with her father. It is better to reassure your child firmly that she will keep her father's name and that nothing changes. In terms of a name for the new spouse, discuss this directly with your child and let your child come up with a nickname for her new parent. Finally, explain to her that she has the right to love her new parent without this love taking the place of her love for her father. There is room for both people in her life and if both her father and new parent take their roles seriously, she'll discover the delight of having more people caring about her welfare and needs.
Be patient. A very stubborn refusal that includes rebelliousness and anger won't be resolved overnight. Talk to your ex-husband to get support for helping your child through this transition. If he hasn't remarried before you, odds are he will be in the future, so either he'll have already been through it or he'll be open-eared about what he will experience should this happen to him as well. Show openly to your child that you and your ex-husband still have your child's concerns at heart first and foremost in your discussions; this isn't the time for dragging through old hurts but it is a time for putting your child's concerns first.
Reassure your child. Even if your child gets along well with your fiancé, remarriage often revives the pain of divorce. Also, through loyalty or fear of betraying his father, your child might want to refuse to participate or help. It is important to reassure him, to tell him that you understand and respect his decision. Prepare him for a solution that lets him off the hook; such as going to his father's place or a friend's place during the wedding. He mustn't feel abandoned but it's important that his refusal to attend won't influence your decision to go ahead. Whatever happens, your marriage will occur because it's a matter for the grown-ups to make decisions about their own lives.
Understand her worries. She may be afraid that perhaps she'll be called upon to move, to share her room with a half or step-sibling. She may be worried about what will happen to her daily play routine, vacation plans and general activities. On the other hand, it may well be that a new marriage will bring about an ease in financial constraints so it is important to be honest and explain how change is always hard for everyone but that there will be some very good changes that come out of the new family situation. Point out how there will be easier ways to do things with more people on board to help out. It is important to be frank, because she will feel betrayed if you try to gloss over the challenges. Reassure her that despite the changes, her relationship with both her parents remains one of love, support and respect for her. And let her know that despite the new marriage, you will be still be there for her, together planning the future, with her as she grows up and supporting one another.
Make it clear that love between adults is not something a child can change. Gently help him to understand that whilst he can manage his toys, homework and choice of clothes, he cannot influence his parent's love life, whether it be divorce or remarriage. In discussing this, never use negative words about him - a child all too easily assumes responsibility for the single parent and can feel a sense of personal blame. Ensure that he does not have any such negative feelings and reassure him that when it comes to affairs of the heart, feelings and love, much cannot be explained and that things just "are". Tell him also that the joy of one person does not equate with the sadness of another - there is room for all the family to feel joy at the coming marriage.
Approach new names with great care. Unless there are very good reasons, it is not a good idea to change a child's last name; it is a threatening challenge to both her personal identity and her connection with her father. It is better to reassure your child firmly that she will keep her father's name and that nothing changes. In terms of a name for the new spouse, discuss this directly with your child and let your child come up with a nickname for her new parent. Finally, explain to her that she has the right to love her new parent without this love taking the place of her love for her father. There is room for both people in her life and if both her father and new parent take their roles seriously, she'll discover the delight of having more people caring about her welfare and needs.
Be patient. A very stubborn refusal that includes rebelliousness and anger won't be resolved overnight. Talk to your ex-husband to get support for helping your child through this transition. If he hasn't remarried before you, odds are he will be in the future, so either he'll have already been through it or he'll be open-eared about what he will experience should this happen to him as well. Show openly to your child that you and your ex-husband still have your child's concerns at heart first and foremost in your discussions; this isn't the time for dragging through old hurts but it is a time for putting your child's concerns first.
Thursday, 24 February 2011
The Benefits and Dangers of Marriage
The Benefits and Dangers of Marriage
Reprinted from Ummah.com
Benefits of Marriage
The main benefits of marriage are:
1. Seeking children. Marriage contributes to the building of society, propagation of the human race, and increasing the numbers of Muslims.
2. Pleasing the Prophet (pbuh), by increasing the numbers of his followers.
"Marry the loving and child-bearing, for I shall outnumber the nations by you on the Day of Resurrection." (Ahmad. A similar narration has been recorded by al-Bayhaqi and al-Tabarani, and Hafiz ibn Hajar cited it in "al-Fath" indicating that it is hasan or sahih according to him)
3. Seeking blessings through a righteous child through his Du’a and other good deeds on your behalf after your death, or should the child die young then through his intercession.
"When the son of Adam dies, his good deeds come to an end, except from three [sources] : perennial charity (sadaqah jariyah), knowledge from which benefit is obtained, and a pious child who prays for him." [Riyad al-Saliheen]
Other benefits are:
4. Protection from Satan through legitimate channelling of the sex drive, thereby saving oneself and one’s spouse from related sins.
5. Peace of mind and companionship, development of love and mercy between the spouses.
6. Development of ties between families.
7. Sharing of tasks in the household, such that the overall burden on each person is less.
8. Inculcation of a sense of responsibility and improvement of one’s self through expending effort and making sacrifices for the protection and welfare of one’s family, taking care of their needs (physical, material, emotional, spiritual), and bearing inconveniences and each other’s faults patiently.
Dangers of Marriage
At the same time, there are potential dangers to marriage, which one must watch beware of and try to avoid.
Among them :
1. Failure to earn halal income, such that one turns to increasing his income through haram means, in the effort to spend on one’s family.
2. Failure to fulfil the duties of marriage, in particular the rights of the wife, or failure to be patient with its difficulties.
"Every one of you is a guardian, and every one of you is liable to be questioned about those in his care. The man is a guardian with regard to his family, and is liable to be questioned about those in his care. The woman is a guardian with respect to her husband's house, and is liable to be questioned about that in her care. So, every one of you is a guardian, and every one of you is liable to be questioned about those in his care." (Bukhari, Muslim)
3. Being distracted by one’s family from religious obligations, such that one spends his days and nights in enjoyment with them without caring to ponder over the Hereafter to work for it.
"O you who believe! Let not your wealth or your children distract you from the remembrance of Allah. And whoever does that, they are the losers." [Quran, 63:9]
Conclusion
"A dinar which you spend in the path of Allah, a dinar which you spend [to free] a slave, a dinar which you give as sadaqah to a needy person, and a dinar which you spend on your family: the most superior of these is the one which you spend on your family."
Our Lord! Grant us spouses and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and makes us leaders for the pious. O Allah! Grant blessings and peace to our Messenger Muhammad, and to his Household and Companions
Reprinted from Ummah.com
Benefits of Marriage
The main benefits of marriage are:
1. Seeking children. Marriage contributes to the building of society, propagation of the human race, and increasing the numbers of Muslims.
2. Pleasing the Prophet (pbuh), by increasing the numbers of his followers.
"Marry the loving and child-bearing, for I shall outnumber the nations by you on the Day of Resurrection." (Ahmad. A similar narration has been recorded by al-Bayhaqi and al-Tabarani, and Hafiz ibn Hajar cited it in "al-Fath" indicating that it is hasan or sahih according to him)
3. Seeking blessings through a righteous child through his Du’a and other good deeds on your behalf after your death, or should the child die young then through his intercession.
"When the son of Adam dies, his good deeds come to an end, except from three [sources] : perennial charity (sadaqah jariyah), knowledge from which benefit is obtained, and a pious child who prays for him." [Riyad al-Saliheen]
Other benefits are:
4. Protection from Satan through legitimate channelling of the sex drive, thereby saving oneself and one’s spouse from related sins.
5. Peace of mind and companionship, development of love and mercy between the spouses.
6. Development of ties between families.
7. Sharing of tasks in the household, such that the overall burden on each person is less.
8. Inculcation of a sense of responsibility and improvement of one’s self through expending effort and making sacrifices for the protection and welfare of one’s family, taking care of their needs (physical, material, emotional, spiritual), and bearing inconveniences and each other’s faults patiently.
Dangers of Marriage
At the same time, there are potential dangers to marriage, which one must watch beware of and try to avoid.
Among them :
1. Failure to earn halal income, such that one turns to increasing his income through haram means, in the effort to spend on one’s family.
2. Failure to fulfil the duties of marriage, in particular the rights of the wife, or failure to be patient with its difficulties.
"Every one of you is a guardian, and every one of you is liable to be questioned about those in his care. The man is a guardian with regard to his family, and is liable to be questioned about those in his care. The woman is a guardian with respect to her husband's house, and is liable to be questioned about that in her care. So, every one of you is a guardian, and every one of you is liable to be questioned about those in his care." (Bukhari, Muslim)
3. Being distracted by one’s family from religious obligations, such that one spends his days and nights in enjoyment with them without caring to ponder over the Hereafter to work for it.
"O you who believe! Let not your wealth or your children distract you from the remembrance of Allah. And whoever does that, they are the losers." [Quran, 63:9]
Conclusion
"A dinar which you spend in the path of Allah, a dinar which you spend [to free] a slave, a dinar which you give as sadaqah to a needy person, and a dinar which you spend on your family: the most superior of these is the one which you spend on your family."
Our Lord! Grant us spouses and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and makes us leaders for the pious. O Allah! Grant blessings and peace to our Messenger Muhammad, and to his Household and Companions
Islam and Marriage in the 21st Century
Islam and Marriage in the 21st Century
By Atangana Haashim Abdu-Salaam Kamena
Marriage is a Sunnah
The concept of marriage is one of the most important fundamentals in Islam but many Young Muslims living in the 21st Century ignore this concept. The concept of marriage is so important that it is a practice of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). Aishah (may Allah be please with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) had stated that:
"Marriage is a Sunnah of mine, and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not of my followers."
The point that is propogated in this essay is to educate the Muslims how important it is to be married, especially living in North America due to the Fitnas (trials, tribulations) and problems that goes around in this society.
There are many reasons why single Muslims should get married. One of the major reasons why Muslims should get married is the fact that this practice is considered part of the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and one should get married if one has the financial means and confidence to maintain a partner. If the Muslim does not have the financial means to get married, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) had stated to fast because fasting kills the sexual desires.
Another reason why Muslims should get married is to protect his or herself from committing major sins. Aishah (Allah be please with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) has said:
"Get married because I will display your outnumbering the other nations on the day of ressurection.Whoever has wealth should get married, and whoever does not should fast, because fasting is a restraint of desire for him."
North American Culture Entraps Muslims
North America is considered to be a continent where there is absolutely no discipline due to the massive propaganda that goes on in the society. It is a place where Muslims are allowed to get away with commiting major sins such as fornication due to the fact that the society that the Muslims are living in is careless regarding this sinful action. According to Islamic law, fornication is considered to be a very serious sin whose punishment includes stoning to death and/or beating the sinner with lashes. In the North American culture, there is no strict discipline for Muslims when they commit major sins due to the fact that everything is controlled by the disbelievers. And because there is no strict discipline similar to the strict discipline in Muslim countries, Muslims fall into the trap of committng fornication due to the mixture of men and women in high school, college and universities.
Delaying Marriage Causes Problems
One of the reasons why these sinful acts are being committed is because Muslims have decided to delay marriage because of an education. This concept of getting an education before getting married has caused great fitna and many problems among young Muslims going to educational institution in North America. The concept of getting an education before marriage has led to the Muslims having too much free time for themselves and it is because of this concept that young Muslims have fallen into the trap of commiting major sins such as fornication.
The Muslim who has knowledge regarding the issue should be ask this question as follows, where is the statement of getting an education is Fard (obligatory) in order to get married? Where in the Qu'ran and does it state that getting an education is superior over getting married?
This idea of getting an education before getting married is a concept that came from the disbelievers that many Muslims once again fell into. The disbelievers, who do not believe in Allah and his Messenger, are not afraid of commiting fornication because most of them have no divine belief. The disbelievers adapted the concept of having girlfriends, boyfriends, which all leads to commit fornication.
The young Muslims fell into this trap because delaying marriage will eventually lead to fornication because when the Muslims enter educational institutions, they start having conversations with the opposite sex, another concept in Islam that is considered forbidden if one does not have a valid intention. Due to the fact that there is no proof that marriage should be delayed, the Muslims intention should be to get married as as soon as possible in order to protect one from commiting major sins. Abu Hurayrah reported that the messenger of Allah(peace be upon him )said:
"It is a right upon Allah to help one who seeks to marry for the purpose of avoiding what Allah has prohibited."
Marriage is a Shield
The young Muslims should start realizing that marriage is a shield against commiting major sins. The famous excuse for delaying marriage is the financial situation. Usually, the family of the spouse worries that the groom doesn't have the financial means or the mind state to get married.
One should get married even though he/she goes to school. In that way, the Muslim couple wouldn't be commiting any sins and every relation and sexual intercourse would be considered Halal. And when the groom would finish his education, he would eventually get a place for both him and his wife and get a stable job. This would be the ideal solution for Muslims to avoid commiting sins major sins. Allah says in Surat Nur:
"Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous of your male and female servants. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from his favours. Allah is Bountiful and Knowing." Qu'ran 24:32
Parents Must be Aware
The older generation of Muslims also have an impact on how the young Muslim is delaying marriage. They also have a great part on the way they think as well. The Muslim parents are actually the reason why the Muslims end up delaying marriage due to the fact that they have to get an education in order to get married.
The parents of today's young Muslims are teaching their children that in order for them to be married they must have an education or else no marriage. The parents basically have a great part in how Muslims end up committing sins. The problem is the fact that the majority of Muslim parents have absolutely no idea of what goes in these educational institutions. Most of them don't realize that the kafir society allows the mixture of men and women, which is a concept that is forbidden in Islam.
Because these young Muslims are living in the land of the disbelievers, the concept of marriage should be taken more seriously. The older generation of Muslims should be aware of what goes on in the education institutions in order that they can become more wise regarding the future of their children. The Muslim parents should take the issue of marriage more seriously due to the fact that it eventually will contribute towards their children's salvation because it is not education that will save one from the punishments of the hereafter but marriage will.
Racism, Nationalism and Discrimination
Another common problem why young Muslims don't end up getting married are due to racism, nationalism and discrimination. The parents of the Muslim woman might not like the Muslim man due to the fact that he is not Somalian, Ethiopian, Pakistanian or Indian. The older generation of Muslims have become very ignorant regarding the fact that the religion of Islam eliminates racism and nationalism. And if the Muslim man happens to be from another nationality or race, they will make it hard for him to get married to their daughter. They will tell him that he must have such and such money and must have a house or condo in order for them to give their daughter away.
Realistically, for a young Muslim man to have these possessions could take years and since the Muslim man and woman are already involved in an unlawful relationship, they will eventually commit sins.
There is no doubt however that the parents of the Muslim woman must be careful on who they give their daughter away to, however the fact that being a practising Muslim has become not a sufficient reason for the parents to give their daughter away has caused excessive problems in the Muslim community, especially for the reverted Muslims. There are many young men who embrace the religion of Islam and they are many of them who are looking to get married. However, the parents of the Muslim woman will absolutely not give their daughter away due to the fact that he is not from their background. This is not fair for the new Muslims and the parents should give them a chance due to the fact that they have accepted Islam and the fact that they want to do the right thing in the religion.
Marriage Should be Taken More Seriously
In conclusion, all these problems that have been discussed in the essay must come to a stop. The Muslims should realize that the punishments of the grave and the punishments of the Hell fire are far too great to continue with these wrong practices. The concept of marriage of should be taken more seriously especially by Muslims living in North America. Muslims should get married so that they can get salvation in this world and the hereafter.
Life in the 21st century has become great fitna and one should fulfill this duty to prevent one from commiting major sins.
Atangana Haashim Abdu-Salaam Kamena is a reverted Muslim from Christianity. He normally writes controversial essays regarding the Muslim community
By Atangana Haashim Abdu-Salaam Kamena
Marriage is a Sunnah
The concept of marriage is one of the most important fundamentals in Islam but many Young Muslims living in the 21st Century ignore this concept. The concept of marriage is so important that it is a practice of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). Aishah (may Allah be please with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) had stated that:
"Marriage is a Sunnah of mine, and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not of my followers."
The point that is propogated in this essay is to educate the Muslims how important it is to be married, especially living in North America due to the Fitnas (trials, tribulations) and problems that goes around in this society.
There are many reasons why single Muslims should get married. One of the major reasons why Muslims should get married is the fact that this practice is considered part of the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and one should get married if one has the financial means and confidence to maintain a partner. If the Muslim does not have the financial means to get married, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) had stated to fast because fasting kills the sexual desires.
Another reason why Muslims should get married is to protect his or herself from committing major sins. Aishah (Allah be please with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) has said:
"Get married because I will display your outnumbering the other nations on the day of ressurection.Whoever has wealth should get married, and whoever does not should fast, because fasting is a restraint of desire for him."
North American Culture Entraps Muslims
North America is considered to be a continent where there is absolutely no discipline due to the massive propaganda that goes on in the society. It is a place where Muslims are allowed to get away with commiting major sins such as fornication due to the fact that the society that the Muslims are living in is careless regarding this sinful action. According to Islamic law, fornication is considered to be a very serious sin whose punishment includes stoning to death and/or beating the sinner with lashes. In the North American culture, there is no strict discipline for Muslims when they commit major sins due to the fact that everything is controlled by the disbelievers. And because there is no strict discipline similar to the strict discipline in Muslim countries, Muslims fall into the trap of committng fornication due to the mixture of men and women in high school, college and universities.
Delaying Marriage Causes Problems
One of the reasons why these sinful acts are being committed is because Muslims have decided to delay marriage because of an education. This concept of getting an education before getting married has caused great fitna and many problems among young Muslims going to educational institution in North America. The concept of getting an education before marriage has led to the Muslims having too much free time for themselves and it is because of this concept that young Muslims have fallen into the trap of commiting major sins such as fornication.
The Muslim who has knowledge regarding the issue should be ask this question as follows, where is the statement of getting an education is Fard (obligatory) in order to get married? Where in the Qu'ran and does it state that getting an education is superior over getting married?
This idea of getting an education before getting married is a concept that came from the disbelievers that many Muslims once again fell into. The disbelievers, who do not believe in Allah and his Messenger, are not afraid of commiting fornication because most of them have no divine belief. The disbelievers adapted the concept of having girlfriends, boyfriends, which all leads to commit fornication.
The young Muslims fell into this trap because delaying marriage will eventually lead to fornication because when the Muslims enter educational institutions, they start having conversations with the opposite sex, another concept in Islam that is considered forbidden if one does not have a valid intention. Due to the fact that there is no proof that marriage should be delayed, the Muslims intention should be to get married as as soon as possible in order to protect one from commiting major sins. Abu Hurayrah reported that the messenger of Allah(peace be upon him )said:
"It is a right upon Allah to help one who seeks to marry for the purpose of avoiding what Allah has prohibited."
Marriage is a Shield
The young Muslims should start realizing that marriage is a shield against commiting major sins. The famous excuse for delaying marriage is the financial situation. Usually, the family of the spouse worries that the groom doesn't have the financial means or the mind state to get married.
One should get married even though he/she goes to school. In that way, the Muslim couple wouldn't be commiting any sins and every relation and sexual intercourse would be considered Halal. And when the groom would finish his education, he would eventually get a place for both him and his wife and get a stable job. This would be the ideal solution for Muslims to avoid commiting sins major sins. Allah says in Surat Nur:
"Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous of your male and female servants. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from his favours. Allah is Bountiful and Knowing." Qu'ran 24:32
Parents Must be Aware
The older generation of Muslims also have an impact on how the young Muslim is delaying marriage. They also have a great part on the way they think as well. The Muslim parents are actually the reason why the Muslims end up delaying marriage due to the fact that they have to get an education in order to get married.
The parents of today's young Muslims are teaching their children that in order for them to be married they must have an education or else no marriage. The parents basically have a great part in how Muslims end up committing sins. The problem is the fact that the majority of Muslim parents have absolutely no idea of what goes in these educational institutions. Most of them don't realize that the kafir society allows the mixture of men and women, which is a concept that is forbidden in Islam.
Because these young Muslims are living in the land of the disbelievers, the concept of marriage should be taken more seriously. The older generation of Muslims should be aware of what goes on in the education institutions in order that they can become more wise regarding the future of their children. The Muslim parents should take the issue of marriage more seriously due to the fact that it eventually will contribute towards their children's salvation because it is not education that will save one from the punishments of the hereafter but marriage will.
Racism, Nationalism and Discrimination
Another common problem why young Muslims don't end up getting married are due to racism, nationalism and discrimination. The parents of the Muslim woman might not like the Muslim man due to the fact that he is not Somalian, Ethiopian, Pakistanian or Indian. The older generation of Muslims have become very ignorant regarding the fact that the religion of Islam eliminates racism and nationalism. And if the Muslim man happens to be from another nationality or race, they will make it hard for him to get married to their daughter. They will tell him that he must have such and such money and must have a house or condo in order for them to give their daughter away.
Realistically, for a young Muslim man to have these possessions could take years and since the Muslim man and woman are already involved in an unlawful relationship, they will eventually commit sins.
There is no doubt however that the parents of the Muslim woman must be careful on who they give their daughter away to, however the fact that being a practising Muslim has become not a sufficient reason for the parents to give their daughter away has caused excessive problems in the Muslim community, especially for the reverted Muslims. There are many young men who embrace the religion of Islam and they are many of them who are looking to get married. However, the parents of the Muslim woman will absolutely not give their daughter away due to the fact that he is not from their background. This is not fair for the new Muslims and the parents should give them a chance due to the fact that they have accepted Islam and the fact that they want to do the right thing in the religion.
Marriage Should be Taken More Seriously
In conclusion, all these problems that have been discussed in the essay must come to a stop. The Muslims should realize that the punishments of the grave and the punishments of the Hell fire are far too great to continue with these wrong practices. The concept of marriage of should be taken more seriously especially by Muslims living in North America. Muslims should get married so that they can get salvation in this world and the hereafter.
Life in the 21st century has become great fitna and one should fulfill this duty to prevent one from commiting major sins.
Atangana Haashim Abdu-Salaam Kamena is a reverted Muslim from Christianity. He normally writes controversial essays regarding the Muslim community
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